


tomorrow never came

by impalafortrenchcoats



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, K-pop, 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: 1990s, Battle of Hogwarts, Cultural Differences, Family Drama, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Heavy Angst, M/M, Magic, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Battle of Hogwarts, Sexual Content, Young Love, gratuitous use of flashbacks
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-07-02 03:13:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 33,657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15787791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impalafortrenchcoats/pseuds/impalafortrenchcoats
Summary: A look at Hogwarts and the battle for it through the eyes of the students who lived and loved there.A BTS/Harry Potter Fusion no one asked for.





	1. Seokjin Part I

**Author's Note:**

> A few things to note before we start!
> 
> 1\. I started this before the infamous RM housing everyone incident (which dates this fic something vicious), so none of the houses are going to line up with his assessment. Let's just say that BTS are of course in those houses, but BTS as the little wizard shits I wrote are as you see them. ;)
> 
> 2\. I'm basing some of this more on the books than the movie, ie. Hoggy Warty Hogwarts is present!!! But really it's a combo of the two mediums. 
> 
> 3\. Age gap has been decreased, so there's only two years difference between Seokjin and Jungkook. The rest of the guys are somewhere in between. 
> 
> And that should cover the gist of it!

Hogwarts, with its many turrets and towers and numerous hallways, was as much a historical landmark as a stronghold for wizarding knowledge. Through countless centuries it had housed and nurtured generations of witches and wizards.

But, on this day, Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry was burning.

Sending their small group to their knees, a thunderous explosion shook the entire foundation of the castle. Two second-year Slytherins who had been clinging tightly to Namjoon were tossed flat on their backs. Seokjin Kim quickly scrambled forward. He paused long enough to help the first-year Hufflepuff who was struggling to find her footing in the tattered remains of her school robes. They had barely moved when large chunks of the damaged wall came crashing down on the spot they had been in.

"Namjoon!" Seokjin called, eyes watering against the dust storm from the debris. "Namjoon-ah!"

He could hear the poor girl coughing heavily as he crouched over her small form. He tightened his grip on her shoulders and blindly pushed forward, making sure to shield the younger student as they stumbled through the crumbling hallway.  
  
It seemed almost no time had passed since the student body was assembled in the Great Hall and Voldemort's ultimatum was made. Turn in one Harry Potter or they will all suffer.

Rather than conceding, Professor McGonagall made the call for the students' evacuation, and the hall had emptied quickly. It had been stupid, but his body had reacted before he had even had the chance to really digest the news that the castle would soon be under attack. Before he had realized what he was doing, his feet were already at a full sprint down the familiar path toward the Slytherin common room. As a seventh-year Hufflepuff, the speed with which he made the trip, dodging down hidden hallways and skipping over trick stairways, should be an anomaly, but when dating the Slytherin Head Boy, one quickly learns all the best ways to and from the area for their midnight rendezvous. This served him well as he made his mad dash.

Then again, he couldn't really regret his actions. As he had rounded the dungeon corner, he was greeted by the sight of Namjoon directing the prefects to take the younger students to the evacuation passage for Hog's Head Inn. Seokjin felt a pang of guilt that he hadn't stayed back to do the same for the students in his own house, despite not being in a position that obligated him to do so. Yoongi had always been the more responsible one. However, as Namjoon turned around and their eyes met, whatever reservations he had quickly disappeared.  
  
Seokjin quickly ran to Namjoon's side and was relieved to see the Head Boy meet him halfway. It was a short hug, but Seokjin imagined he could hear his ribs cracking under the pressure of Namjoon's arms. He wasn’t about to complain. Besides, he was sure holding onto Namjoon just as tightly, if not more so. Taking a deep breath where his face was pressed into the crook of Namjoon's neck, he felt himself calming at the familiar scent of parchment and ink that clung to his boyfriend like cologne.  
  
However, like all good things, the hug ended and Namjoon pulled away. Seokjin couldn't help but feel disconcerted by the blank look on Namjoon’s face, something he only ever wore when under extreme duress.  
  
"Two of the second years are missing. Baddock says they were probably in the library," Namjoon said before Seokjin could voice his question. "I don't think they heard the announcements."  
  
"Oh, no," he felt his stomach drop at the thought of the younger students lost in the mess of the incoming battle. "We have to go get them!"  
  
"No, Seokjin, _we_ don't have to do anything. You need to head back up to your house. I'll go look for them. I'm the Head Boy."  
  
"And you're also crazy if you think I'm letting you go by yourself, Joonie."  
  
"Just this once, can you not argue with me. Not about this, please. I would feel much better if I knew you were — "  
  
"You can waste time arguing with me, or we could go grab the kids and get the hell out of here."  
  
"Jin, you can't just — "  
  
"No."  
  
"Ji — "  
  
"No."  
  
"Stop — "  
  
"Nope."  
  
"Gods damn it, Jin!" Namjoon finally exploded.  
  
Seokjin was quick to yell right back, "No, I'm not leaving, and that's final! What happened to you, Joonie? You used to listen so well!"  
  
It could have been fairly amusing, but given the circumstances, Namjoon's bulging eyes and opened-mouth glare of speechless rage would simply have to be saved in Seokjin's mind bank for later perusal. He knew he won, anyway. He generally did. Namjoon might have the brains, being the smartest Slytherin in seventh year, but there was little logic could do in the face of pure obstinate stubbornness. Something that Seokjin had in abundance and was forced to harness after years of dealing with the other members of their small group of friends.  
  
Seokjin spared a moment and sent a quick prayer to whichever deity was listening for the others to make it out okay.  
  
His musing ended abruptly when a pulse of magic rumbled through the entire castle.  
  
"They're sending up the barrier,” Namjoon said.  
  
They shared a wide eyed glance before taking off down the corridor, Namjoon's hand automatically reaching out and grasping Seokjin's.  
  
Unfortunately, their search for the missing second years took longer than either of them anticipated. They had assumed the boys would be easily found in the library, but it was empty when they arrived. The only good thing to come from their frantic hunt was finding the small first year Hufflepuff who had also been absent during the announcements and had been lost in the subsequent mess.  
  
Namjoon still refused to leave until they were sure of the boys' whereabout. It was fortunately not much later that they were finally able to find the boys huddling behind a column as the old statues of the knights lining the halls were summoned to the school entrance.  
  
"Birtwistle! Plaskitt!" Namjoon barked as they dodged around the marching knights. "Where the fuck were you? We're evacuating, come on!"  
  
It wasn't a moment too soon. Namjoon grabbed both boys by the hood of their robes and tugged them after him. Seokjin internally winced at the rough treatment but uncharacteristically kept his opinion to himself.

They had barely managed a few steps when it seemed like the entire world around them was consumed by a loud hissing screech. Moving as one, their group stopped to look out the nearby window. The young Hufflepuff girl — Humphreys was her name, if Seokjin was remembering correctly — gave a shuddering gasp as bits and pieces of the sky began to glow red and appeared to be burning away in patches. 

  
"Well, that's not good,” he couldn't help but say.  
  
"They're getting through the shield,” Namjoon said.  
  
Seokjin saw the Head Boy's knuckles turn white as he tightened his grip on the younger boys.  
  
"We have to hurry. The professors said the passage is on the seventh floor."  
  
That was all urging they needed to jump into action. As they ran, Seokjin could make out the last of the red glow dying, signaling the complete failure of the shield. He thought he could hear the distant sound of disapparation and discordant but eerily human-like howls.  
  
It was a good thing that compartmentalizing panic was an old trick he had plenty of practice with, particularly during the summer of fifth year when he gave himself the suicidal quest of teaching Namjoon how to cook. 

Now here they were, stumbling through the broken halls while ushering three lower year students through the maze of falling stone and wood. From the moment the shields fell, all hell broke loose inside the castle. The beauty and horror of the situation all boiled down to the instantaneous effects of magic. Disapparation brought the enemy to them that much quicker, flashes of sickly but vibrant green brought death that much closer, and as they ignored the burning in their lungs to power forward through the chaos, Seokjin could fully appreciate the double edged sword that was the gift of magic.

From the perspective of a half-blood, Seokjin secretly knew that this irony was something that he could never fully share with Namjoon.

Namjoon, who with his old and very magical lineage, could never fully understand the often wild temptation of falling back into the safety and comfort of the mundane. Namjoon, whose mind was so often lost in the convoluted theories pertaining to the mystical realm of magical research, would never fully appreciate the charm of a simple properly prepared meal. Namjoon, who despite having all the possibilities of magic open to him, could not have possibly shown Seokjin, a simple half-blooded Hufflepuff, any more love and affection than he had in all the time they've known one another.

And all these thoughts rushed through his mind when he looked up.

Pure, unadulterated panic consumed him as the dust cleared, and he could clearly see. Namjoon, his foundation and eternal source of happiness, was standing stock still, across from him were a pair of Snatchers, both sporting identical malicious grins.

The students watched as the eyes of the men roamed over them. It wasn’t hard to see what the men were thinking: this was easy pickings.

No one dared to breathe.

Time slowed down to a crawl, and even the settling dust appeared frozen in the air as the entirety of Seokjin’s focus zeroed in on the scene before him.

Then, probably driven by a sudden rush of adrenaline, and a protective streak the size of the Atlantic, Seokjin decided to fuck it.

These Snatchers were looking for a kill and would rather gleefully see to it that they all met their grisly end. Maybe it was from living in what was essentially a wartime institution for the past year, but he was done with fear.

Suddenly, all he had was anger.

One year’s worth of stress was bubbling through him, desperately needing an outlet and these two fools in front of him were prime targets. Let them know the wrath of House Hufflepuff.

The ugly shit-face standing in front of Namjoon was just opening his mouth for what Seokjin could only assume was useless, villainy trash talk, but no one would ever know.

Seokjin took a note right out of Han Solo’s book of criminal dealings and fucking shot first.

He sent a powerful _confringo_ , viciously aimed at the head of the Snatcher standing farther away. The trajectory of the spell also forced the closer man to duck to the side to avoid harm. Both men were taken by surprise, and the less fortunate of the two Snatchers only manage to avoid a head on collision with the blasting spell but took the brunt of it to his shoulder.

A large spray of blood erupted from the tattered remains of what was once the man’s biceps while his forearm was sent flying into the castle wall with a horrifying _splat_.

As the man let out a hair raising scream, Namjoon thankfully only spared a second to take in the sight before tossing up a _protego_ and grabbing both shell-shocked younger years back toward Jin and the Hufflepuff girl. The shield came up none too soon as the uninjured Snatcher was quick to ignore the plight of his fellow wizard and occupied himself with tossing a few _crucio_ their way.

Right before the shield collapsed, they all ducked behind a statue, Namjoon and Jin making sure to keep the younger students behind them. They both shared a meaningful look. This was possibly the worst case scenario for them. The men were in between them and their destination, and they were sitting ducks.

While the wounded man continued to holler in pain, punctuated by a series of slurs and curses that made Seokjin really wish he could throw a silencer at him, the other Snatcher also took the opportunity to take cover behind one of the many statues decorating the hallway as well.

Namjoon peeked around the side as they all took the moment to calm their racing hearts.

“There's one behind Morgana the Mad on the right. I think you got the other one’s wand arm so we might be alright there,” Namjoon whispered.

Seokjin nodded, ignoring the nausea bubbling up at the memory.

Instead, he spared the younger students a quick glance before asking, “So what do we do? That's the only way to go. I don't think they’re just going to let us go back the way we came.”

There was a moment of silence as they let the situation sink in.

Suddenly, a raspy call came from the other end of the hall, “Now, kiddies! That wasn't a very nice thing you did there to my friend here.”

This was punctuated by more semi-incoherent curses from the bleeding man.

“How about you make this easy for me and my friend and just come out. I promise we can make this quick.”

“Like fuck we are,” the one still twisting around on the ground chose that moment to join the conversation, “I'm gonna fucking kill you, you little bitch! Fucking blood-traitor whore, I'm going to fuck you up. Magic is too good for your kind! I'm going to tear that fucker apart with my bare hands!”

“Ah, shut your whining trap, Abney,” Raspy yelled, then cleared his throat and continued addressing them, “like I said, quick. I can be an understanding man. There's nowhere to run, kiddies, so why waste any of our time?”

Humphreys, the young Hufflepuff, was shivering and sobbing, while both Slytherin boys’ faces had lost all color.

Namjoon’s face hardened, and he whispered, “Okay, here’s what we’re going to do. I hold a shield while you lot run for cover. Go toward the Morgana the Mad statue; it's the only one big enough to cover all of you.”

“But that's where the Snatcher is,” Plaskitt, the wiry Slytherin, finally spoke up.

“Yes, but he would have to run out and reach all the way around to get to you. And you will have Seokjin to keep you safe.”

“What about the other one,” Birtwistle asked.

This time Seokjin answered, “His wand arm is gone. The most he can do is growl at us. What about you, Namjoon?”

“I'll drop the shield once you're safe, and you can cover me. I think I can get behind the armor across from all of you, and I can try to get him from there.”

“Joonie! No.”

“Why? We don't have another choice. Besides,” he smiled and those blasted dimples were on full display, “you wouldn't let anything happen to me. I trust you, hyung.”

Damn him! Namjoon knew what he was doing. Seokjin could only sputter a bit, but he knew the battle was over; Namjoon had already won. It was unfair of the asshole to use his gift (mainly the dimples) for evil, but he did, and Seokjin had to reluctantly go along and hoped this shit didn't blow up in all their faces.

“Fine. But if you get us all killed, no one is going to stop me from saying I told you so.”

“Please, don't get us all killed,” Birtwistle pleaded.

Right then, a red streak of light hit the edge of the column they were hidden behind, raining bits of stone and wood over them. Humphreys and Plaskitt both let out a scream.

“Oy, kiddies! I don't have all day. You wouldn't want to see what I'm capable of when I'm angry,” the Snatcher called again.

“Okay. Let’s do this. Anyone have any questions?” Namjoon coughed out.

“Yes,” Seokjin didn't know what came over him, but he had to. “What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?”

“Oh, sweet Merlin, Jin!”

The three younger years stared at him in utter confusion.

He looked them all in the eye for a moment, and then, completely serious, he answered his own question, “Frostbite.”

“I cannot believe you.” Namjoon sighed as Seokjin snickered quietly at his own joke.

At least they were momentarily distracted from their panic. Seokjin’s job here was done.

“We’re going to die, aren't we?” Birtwistle asked, sounding rather hopeless.

Ignoring the boy, Namjoon continued, “Alright, then, now that Seokjin’s got that out of his system. On, the count of three. One…”

Seokjin tugged the boys closer to him and reached for Humphreys’ hand.

“Two…”

He glanced at Namjoon and nodded. They can do this.

“Three! _Protego_!”

They ran forward; Seokjin had to push them for a second to get them going, but once they were moving he made sure to keep in front of them. It took the Snatcher a second to realize what they were doing, but once he did, a volley of spells came barreling straight at them.

It was unnerving, given the invisible nature of the shielding spell, to be seemingly running directly at oncoming spells. This was the main reason for the split.

While they were both relatively proficient at the _protego_ charm, neither had enough practical experience, particularly under these circumstances, to guarantee the focus required to maintain it. Holding the spell while moving was basically enough of a challenge without someone tossing a crapload of offensive spells at the shield.

They slammed into the statue, and Namjoon immediately dropped the spell.

“ _Protego_!” Seokjin shouted, this time holding the spell in line with their location to prevent the Snatcher from coming forward.

Namjoon made a beeline for the suit of armor across from them, and even as he reached it, Seokjin maintained the spell, well aware that the wizard on the other side had long given up his cover and was viciously attacking the shield both magically and physically.

Both Namjoon and Seokjin were aware that each spell the man was throwing at the shield which ricocheted off was not helping the stability of the hallway around them. It couldn't be helped, since the Snatcher seemed completely unaware of the danger his actions were causing. It was best to make this quick.

From the corner of eye, Seokjin could see Namjoon taking aim. The Snatcher was too consumed with bringing down the shield to notice. By an unspoken agreement, the moment the tip of Namjoon’s wand began to glow, Seokjin dropped the _protego_ , taking the man by surprise. The Snatcher stumbled forward from the barrier’s sudden disappearance, which proved to be his undoing. Before he could recover, Namjoon’s _expelliarmus_ sent both man and wand flying.

He slammed into the side of the statue, taking Morgana the Mad’s arm with him as he fell. Seokjin felt his heart tighten when the crumbling stone and lack of wand barely slowed the man down. With a wild scream of rage, the man sprung forward from where he fell and charged at Namjoon, who was frozen in shock by the man’s recovery.

The thing was, the Snatcher had all but forgotten about the group of students behind him. And Seokjin had forgotten all spells except the one that he swore to never personally use.

The man’s back was to him and his proximity made the shot all the easier. Seokjin has never been successful with the spell before, but he felt a cold surety this was it.

He took aim and spoke the word, “ _Sectumsemspra._ ”

The spell was meant to cut victims from a distance, and deeply. However, the wizard was almost directly in front of Seokjin when the spell was cast.

The way the man’s head tumbling from his shoulders, while his body continued to stumble forward a step or two before collapsing, was a truly nightmarish surprise.

It was a few seconds of pure shocked horror, as Seokjin remained wide-eyed and frozen, wand outstretched, while Namjoon and the students continued to stare at the corpse and the quickly spreading puddle of blood. Then, the castle gave a dangerous lurch.

Mostly operating on autopilot, Seokjin bodily shoved the younger students back toward the wall, away from the falling debris. He noted Namjoon taking cover as well, and they all waited out the tremors, hoping that all the struggles earlier wouldn’t be in vain. When the shaking finally stopped, they allowed themselves a few seconds to breathe.

Seokjin didn't realize he was trembling until Namjoon came crashing into him and the taller boy’s arms came up and wrapped tightly around him. In fact, he didn't realize how shaken he was, until he fully registered that Namjoon was stroking the back of his head with one hand and holding onto him tightly with the other, all the while babbling comforting nonsense into his ear, “It’s okay, Jinnie. Just breathe, that's right, you're doing good. You did good, hyung. You saved me. Just keep breathing, and listen to me. Okay?”

Oh, so that's what a panic attack felt like.

He tried to match his breathing to Namjoon's and just let his voice wash over him.

“It’s okay, it's okay,” he kept repeating into Seokjin’s hair.

He wanted to stay like this for a while longer, but the crumbling around them had increased, and Seokjin felt bad enough about taking as much time as he did already, the shock notwithstanding. They had to keep moving.

It was with great reluctance that he pushed away from Namjoon and said, “I'm okay. Let's get going.”

The skeptical but worried look Namjoon gave him was completely warranted, considering how much his voice shook when he spoke. But he just nodded and motioned for the younger students to follow him. Poor Humphreys was beyond tears and stumbling so badly, Seokjin made sure Namjoon had a firm hold on her before helping the two boys navigate through the debris.

As they moved forward, the castle was thankfully still. Even the injured Snatcher, Seokjin was sure the other man had called him Abney, was quiet for the first time in the whole encounter. He ended up taking up the rear, since Namjoon was leading their group, and he wanted to supervise the younger boys.

Maybe it was wanting a sense of closure, but Seokjin felt the urge to take a last look at what he had done. The Hufflepuff glanced back and while the sight of the headless corpse was hard to miss, what caught his attention was Abney struggling across the floor, his single arm outstretched and reaching toward something. He stopped, confused. It took a moment of straining to see, when it hit him.

The other Snatcher’s wand was just barely out of Abney’s reach.

His eyes widened, and before he could do anything, the man’s hand wrapped around the base of the wand.

Seokjin whirled around, “Namjoon, run!”

All of them turned, and it was easy to see when they saw the reason for his call. They immediately began to run.

Being the closest, Seokjin made an effort to throw up some kind of barrier, but the combination of shock and fatigue meant his concentration was shot. Every spell that made contact meant the immediate collapse of the shield. Thankfully, the injured man was relying on his non-dominant hand and only a few spells actually ended up going where he was aiming. The downside to this was that he was wreaking havoc on their surroundings.

“Seokjin!”

Namjoon’s voice rose over the rumble and he turned slightly to see they were some distance away. However, they were all staring in horror at the ceiling, where a large fissure was growing above them. It wasn't even a matter of choice on his part when he dropped the shield and immediately casted an _exumai_ on the group, blasting them back just as the entirety of the ceiling came crumbling down.

That was unfortunately where his luck ended that day. Before he could recast the shield, a dark orange streak struck him in the stomach, sending him crashing into the fallen stones.

Without taking a breath or even trying to get up from his position, Seokjin threw a _confringo_ at the stone column beside the man.

The smirk on Abney’s face fell almost as fast as the broken pieces of the column. His terrified scream was cut short when a large piece of stone dropped on his head with a sickening squish.

Seokjin let his wand arm fall and sat back against the stones, panting, for a moment.

But a sudden twinge from his stomach sent him scrambling to rip off his cloak and untuck his shirt.

He couldn't help the sudden sense of terror that rose.

Seokjin continued to stare in shocked amazement at his own abdomen and the slowly spreading darkness on his flesh. It was as if seeing the wound cemented its reality, and all at once the pain hit him.  A pained sob escaped before he could stop himself. His hands immediately flew up to grip his own mouth in an effort to stifle any more unwanted sounds from escaping.

“Jinnie!” Namjoon’s muffled voice came from the other side of the rubble. “Jinnie-ah, are you okay? What is it? What's wrong? Are you crying?”

Denial. He was ready with it. He could do it. Namjoon had the kids, he could do it for them.

But then he realized his face was already soaked and tears were already flowing freely over his hands, cupping his mouth. And he just couldn't stop it. And had no real desire to stop any time soon.

Fuck it, he’ll just go a different route with this.

“Of course I'm fucking crying, Namjoon! It's been a fucking shitty fucking day! People were just trying to kill us, people are still trying to kill us. The kids are bloody crying, and I just killed the fucking people that were fucking trying to kill us! That was a bloody fucking stupid question, Namjoon-ah!” His voice had progressively gotten higher throughout that little tirade and fueled by the sudden anger he flailed along with his tantrum.

He was shocked silent when, of all things, he heard the familiar squawk of Namjoon’s laugh.

“Namjoon Kim. Are you seriously laughing right now?”

Okay. Seokjin had to give it to Namjoon, there was a pretty hysterical quality to his laughter, but really?

“I’m just glad you're alright, Jinnie.” Namjoon said once he caught his breath. “I've never been so glad to hear your bitching.”

Oops. And there goes his heart, diving down to the depths of his stomach, probably where the curse was wreaking havoc on his body. Ouch, fuck. Stupid thought, he didn't need that reminder — stop thinking, Seokjin.

“Fuck you, Namjoon. Don't even talk to me, anymore. Are the kids alright?”

“Do you want me not to talk or answer that, ’cause talking is necessary to answer, you know.”

“Namjoon-ah,” Seokjin whined, “stop it. How is everyone? Are you okay?”

Seokjin heard a thump and a chuckle and he could almost imagine Namjoon pressing his forehead against the rubble behind him.

“Yeah, we’re all okay. Plaskitt got a little banged up but nothing serious. You sit still for a second, okay? I think I can get through.”

“No! Don't!”

There was silence. Seokjin took the moment to calm his thundering heart. On one hand, he would give anything just to see Namjoon; on the other, he realized that if Namjoon were to see him then, it would take more than a Dark Lord to get him to leave his side and there was little enough time as it was to get everyone to the Hog’s Head Inn. And while there wasn't much he wouldn't give for Namjoon right now, the one thing he could never risk was Namjoon’s safety and that of the children.

“Namjoon, listen. If you don't want to bring the roof down on all of us, then don't touch anything. I'm pretty sure this pile of rubble is all that’s keeping it up as it is.”

“What are you saying? I don't like where you're going with this because I'm not leaving you here if that's what you're getting at.”

Damn it, Namjoon, stop making it more difficult than it has to be! Seokjin had been able to hold back his sobs up until now, but having his stupid, loyal, idiot boyfriend remind him exactly why he loved him was just too much. Taking a moment, he bit down on his hand to keep his sobs silent, before breathing in deeply and continuing to speak. By some miracle, his voice was steady, and he even managed to insert a bit of levity.

“You're not leaving me, dummy.” He forced a laugh to cover a hiccup. “It's only collapsed on this side. I can make my way around. I'll come up after you.”

“But that's twice as far! What if you run into more Snatchers or Death Eaters, Jin! What then? It's better if we stick together.”

“And how do you propose we do that, huh? I know you think I'm beautiful, but even I don't think I can pull off the pancake look if you pull down the roof on us.”

With perfect timing, an explosion from the battle below sent a violent lurch through their surroundings.

Seokjin closed his eyes and ducked his head as the shaking sent a cascade of dust down on him. He tried blinking away the dust once everything settled, but it stubbornly clung to the wetness of his face.

Wincing in discomfort from the mess and the pain from the spreading decay of the curse, he tried again, “Joonie, if you have a better idea I'll be glad to hear it, but if we sit around any longer, this place is coming down with or without your help. Just take the kids and go. I'll meet you at the evacuation point, okay?”

There was silence again, and Seokjin didn't breathe as he waited.

“Fuck this! Fuck this entire bloody war!”

“Joonie—”

“I don't like it, Jin.”

“I know. You've made that point very clear.”

“I don't like the thought of leaving you to go alone.”

Seokjin couldn't help but smile. He loved his idiot, he really, really did.

“You're not leaving me, Joonie. I'm telling you to go.” He swallowed another sob before continuing, “I'll see you soon. Don't worry.”

“Jin…”

“Come on. How old are you? I'll be right behind you.”

How Namjoon made silence sound stubborn, Seokjin didn't know.

“Please, Joonie. You've got the kids. You have to get them out. It’s not just the two of us.”

The following series of expletives from Namjoon’s mouth was admittedly impressive, and Seokjin was pretty sure the younger students were leaving with a infinitely more colorful vocabulary.

“You done there?” Seokjin asked when there was an ebb in the flow of words.

“I hate this, I hate this, I hate this!”

“I guess not.”

“Seokjin-ah! You better get your arse there fast or I'll… I'll…”

“I see. It's only my arse you want,” Seokjin said, eyes watering in relief.

“I'm serious, Seokjin.”

“Yeah, yeah,” he breathed. “You take care of yourself, okay? Don't do anything stupid.”

“You too. I'll see you in a bit, alright?”

Seokjin really had to struggle to swallow the lump in his throat, “Yeah. I'll see you.”

There was a strange rustling noise and tapping.

“What are you doing, Namjoon?” He had to ask.

“I'm sending you the flying kiss. Tapping to let you know it's coming.”

“You are so stupid.”

“Nope. Still a genius. Got the papers to prove it.”

Why did it have to be like this? Seokjin hurt. The curse was spreading, and with every passing second he could feel it working its way to his heart, burning and withering the flesh as it inched upwards. And yet, the worst pain was the realization that this was it for him.

No more meaningless squabbles, no more gentle, or not so gentle, reminders to bloody eat when Namjoon gets caught in a new project, no more seeing those damned dimples that made him fall in the first place. They were young, who knew what anyone really wanted. But Seokjin was pretty sure he was ready for all of that, for the rest of his life.

Just maybe not so literally.

“Shut up already and go. You're still stupid.”

“I don't know about that, but Birtwistle says we're disgusting.”

“Your face is disgusting.”

“Real mature, Jin… Hey.”

“What?”

“Can I get one, too? For good luck?”

“Get what?”

“One of your flying kisses. You do it better.”

Oh, Joonie…

It hurt to move. Merlin, did it hurt, but Seokjin twisted himself until he was all but curled against the rubble. He pressed his hand to his lips then tapped the stones, wishing more than anything that he could touch Namjoon’s face instead.

He didn't dare breathe to keep his sobs silent and gripped the stones until his fingers bled.

It was fine, though. Because Namjoon would be fine. It was fine.

“Thanks, Jinnie! I'll see you soon. Be safe, okay?”

Seokjin’s entire body shook with the effort it took to keep his voice steady, “See you soon.”

He could hear the shuffling as Namjoon stepped away and called the younger students to him. He continued to hold his breath until the sound of running faded into silence, and just a little longer to be sure.

Funnily enough, it took him a few seconds after to realize that the low, keening whimpers he started to hear were his own. Slowly, he forced himself to let go of the stones and huddle down.

He wanted to scream, to give voice to the rage bubbling inside at the unfairness of it all. He was planning on it actually. But the moment the sounds of footsteps faded, Seokjin felt as if a bit of reality faded along with it. Everything was slightly muted, and he just felt cold. It was probably shock. Then again, the world always felt a little cold without Namjoon.

Stupid Namjoon.

As he huddled there beside the rocks, he tried to ignore the spreading, burning ache. The icy numbness left behind in the wake of the burn was so much worse.

He didn't know what to do. There wasn't really anything he could do.

And as he huddled there, sobbing quietly, he couldn't help but smile wryly at the familiarity of it all.

Wasn't this how everything started for them?

His mind couldn't help but drift to another moment when he found himself in a very similar position, just maybe in less dire circumstances…


	2. Seokjin Part II

_ September 1, 1991: Hogwarts Express _

 

_ Seokjin Kim knew his life was over.  _

_ He huddled on the floor of the empty compartment because crying while seated on the actual seats did not satisfy his current level of woe. He was only eleven, but never had he been more certain of a fact than now. His life was  _ over _. _

_ The entire morning was a horrible blur of dramatic screaming, mostly on his part, as he clung to his Nintendo Super Comboy and locked himself in his room, all the while ignoring his parents as they alternated between pleading and demanding his cooperation. _

_ If someone had been passing the Kim residence that morning, many interesting exclamations would have been heard. _

_ Things like: “I don't want to be a wizard, Dad!” _

_ And: “Mario isn't a wizard!” _

_ And: “I want to be plumber!” _

_ He vaguely remembered screaming those along with a litany of other nonsense, he’d admit to that. Okay. It was not one of his finest moments. _

_ However, he felt it was justified considering how his family had literally railroaded him into wizard boarding school with almost no consideration for his social life. Sure, magic was cool. But who was going to play Super Mario World with him? He knew how these things worked, incoming witches and wizards generally fit into two categories: 1. Muggleborns or half-bloods who were raised closer to their muggle roots and were going to be too in-awe of the new environment to appreciate the good old simple fun from their world or 2. Purebloods and those already extensively exposed to magic and would have literally no clue what was happening in the muggle world, particularly in the matter of technology. _

_ Seokjin was both fortunate and unfortunate enough to fall into an odd median between the two. While his father was a pureblood wizard of respectable lineage, he had also inherited the rebellious streak from his own father, who had emigrated from Korea in lieu of continuing the family trade as mediwizards, a respectable career for a  _ Chungin _ class wizard (Seokjin never understood the class division of the Korean Wizarding World, much like he didn't understand the obsession with blood purity here in the U.K.). In any case, Seokjin’s father had taken rebellion one step further and had not only married a muggle woman but had also chosen a mundane career path as a baker. _

_ That was not to say his upbringing was completely devoid of magic. His father had maintained close ties with their family back in Korea, and Seokjin had spent many a happy summer there. _

_ However, one momentous event last year had taken his life on a whole new path. For his 10th birthday, his uncle, while on business in Korea, had managed to pick up a revolutionary game system, the Nintendo Super Comboy. _

_ And his young life was forever changed. _

_ He swore his allegiance to the magnificence that was Mario and the rest of the adorable pixelated crew in Super Mario World, and that was the end of that. _

_ It may have taken several months of groveling on his uncle’s part, but his mother was now on speaking terms with her brother again, so Seokjin figured no harm no foul. _

_ On one hand, yes he was borderline obsessed with the game system, but on the other, he finally had something that helped him connect with the neighborhood muggles his age. Finally, there was something that overcame even his eternal awkwardness, and over the past year, Seokjin could finally say he had a relatively close group of friends. Heck, he would even call Ken, a boy on his block, his best friend. _

_ But now, all that came crashing down. His adventures in Mario’s world with his real life friends were over. Now, he had to start over from scratch, and with witches and wizards. _

_ There was no hope. _

_ His one consolation was that, as an olive branch (and last resort on his father’s part) for peace and his cooperation, he was able to bring his newly magicked Nintendo Super Comboy with him. _

_ At least he would still have Mario. _

_ Speaking of which, he might as well distract himself from his imminent social ostracization with some artificial friends. There will be plenty of time for intensive boyhood pains and feeling sorry for himself later. _

_ However, just as he reached into his pouch containing the Comboy, which his father had also been kind enough to cast an Undetectable Extension Charm on, the door to his compartment slid open with a loud bang to reveal two boys his age. _

_ Seokjin could feel his eyes blinking rapidly, a terrible nervous habit he’d never been able to break. Bloody hell. He wasn't supposed to let anyone know about the pouch, but here he was, shoulders deep in the bag. _

_ His dad was going to kill him. _

_ Both the newcomers silently stared at him. He'd give them a pass. He sure wouldn't know what to do if he were to open a door and come face to face with a sorry looking kid huddling on the floor of a train compartment, half inside a small pouch, face still probably covered in dried tear stains, blinking aggressively. _

_ His whole life was awkward. His father killing him would be merciful. _

_ “Can I help you?” he asked, because his mother raised him better. _

_ The tall, lankier one was the first to answer, although his eyebrows were furrowed in confusion, “Do you mind if we sit here? Everyone up front seems to be making a ruckus about some student being here. It was getting too noisy.” _

_ The whole time Lanky was talking, his friend, a pale, waif-like boy, was giving both Seokjin and his companion extremely dubious looks, like he couldn't decide whether or not he should remain in either of their presence any longer. _

_ “No, go right ahead. There's no one else in here. Except me, I mean. I'm here. Just me.” _

_ “Okay… yeah.” Lanky slid into the room after a short pause, cautiously easing into the bench across from Seokjin. _

_ His friend was a little more reluctant to enter. He turned to look down the train, as if deciding between the pros and cons of going to find another compartment, but ultimately seemed to decide against it as he heaved an impressive sigh and stomped in to collapse next to his friend. He was certainly an interesting character, since the second his butt made contact with the seat, all energy seemed to leak out of him, leaving just enough for him to lazily lift a leg and ease the door close with his foot. _

_ There was an awkward silence. Well, correction, Seokjin was awkward, Lanky was clearly uncomfortable, and Lumpy seemed perfectly fine once he’d melted into the seat. In fact, Seokjin wasn't even sure if he was even awake anymore. Wow. That was fast. _

_ Which was why he jumped and almost dropped the Comboy he was finally pulling out when Lumpy broke the silence, apparently not asleep like he’d thought, “Why are you sitting on the floor?” _

_ Well, here was his chance. New place, new people, new Seokjin Kim. _

_ ‘Seokjin-ah, you can do it,’ he thought to himself. ‘Don't be weird. Short and sweet is the way to go.’ _

_ But instead, he opened his mouth and cemented his lot in life, “Well, you see, I'm going through a bit of a tough spot right now. My life is over, and I just didn't feel that I could really enjoy the seat properly, and the floor felt like a much better place to mope. Just mope. Not cry. I wasn’t crying. I could move to the seat if it bothers you.” _

_ “I really don't give a shit what you do, mate. I was just asking ‘cause this idiot’s dying to know, but won't ask you until it's too late, and I can't sleep while he’s fidgeting.” _

_ Seokjin honestly didn't have a response for that. _

_ The boy didn't bother to open his eyes as he continued, “Now that that’s out of the way, I'm going to take my nap, now. Don't either of you talk to me until we get to the school or food comes. We good? Good.” _

_ He then proceeded to further melt into his seat and slip into oblivion. _

_ Glancing over to Lanky, Seokjin was slightly comforted to see the boy staring in shocked horror at his friend. _

_ “Is he always like that?” _

_ “Yeah. Pretty much.” He looked back Seokjin. “I'm Kim - I mean, I'm Namjoon Kim, by the way, and he's Yoongi Min. Sorry about… actually, I have no idea what I'm apologizing for, but I feel like I should…” _

_ “I'm Seokjin Kim. And if anything I should apologize.” _

_ “For?” _

_ “I don't know? Sitting on the floor? Being awkward?” _

_ “Well, if we all go through life trying to live up to the expectations of society, that would be a whole lot of extra work, wouldn't it?” _

_ Seokjin silently stared at the boy, who had just said what he did with a completely straight face. _

_‘What?’_ _he thought._

_ “What?” he said after a moment’s consideration. _

_ The boy  _ — _ his name was Namjoon, Seokjin tried to remind himself  _ — _ gave a little uncomfortable wriggle in his seat before answering, “I mean, I'm sure you have a perfectly good reason why you're sitting on the floor. I don't know your situation so who am I to judge what you're doing.” _

_ “Huh.” Seokjin continued to inspect Namjoon. He came to a very solid conclusion. “You're an odd one, aren't you?” _

_ “Yoongi always said that I don't know when to stop and that I should probably learn to shut the fuck up.” _

_ “Your friend sounds like a real charmer.” _

_ “He grows on you.” _

_ “Like fungus, I'm sure.” _

_ The other boy only shrugged nonchalantly in response.  _

_ Another silence fell over the compartment, although this time it was slightly less awkward than before. Namjoon was fiddling with the hem of his robes, which were a nice change from the usual attire of British wizards. Seokjin noticed the similarity of the two boys’ clothes and those worn by the boys in his grandparents’ neighborhood, so he assumed the boys weren’t locals. Not to mention he’d noticed Namjoon’s earlier slip in starting the introduction with his surname. _

_ He wondered about how to start up a conversation when it came to him. He immediately perked up and beamed brightly at Namjoon. _

_ “Speaking of mushrooms, you want to see something cool?” _

_ And that was the end of that. At some point over the next few hours, Seokjin finally pulled himself off of the floor and onto a seat, and Namjoon had slowly migrated from the increasingly squashed seat, as the sleeping Yoongi began to ooze over and claim more of the bench, to sit next to Seokjin. Both boys were deeply immersed in the game as Seokjin struggled to advance in the level while simultaneously answering the myriad of questions Namjoon threw his way. _

_ They worked through a rough patch earlier when a still confused Namjoon had scoffed at the game, and the threat of a resurgence of waterworks from Seokjin ended that train of thought rather quickly. _

_ They hit another bump in the road to Mario when Namjoon tried to apply some overly philosophical meaning to the pixelated characters. Seokjin nipped that at the bud with a deadpanned, “Sometimes a goomba is just a goomba, Namjoon.” _

_ Eventually, they settled into a comfortable pattern which alternated between discussing gameplay and story, Seokjin slapping a bruise into Namjoon’s shoulder whenever Namjoon managed to wrangle the controls from him, and talking about themselves whenever activities permitted. _

_ By the time the food cart rolled around, Seokjin knew that Namjoon came from a relatively affluent family, who were pretty active in politics as was expected of those in the  _ Yangban _ class in Korea. He and Yoongi were both sent to study at Hogwarts rather than somewhere closer to home as a means to increase their families’ relations abroad. However, despite both being from the same class, from what Seokjin could make of what wasn't being said, Yoongi was from either a branch family or something of the sort and was from a completely different economic background than Namjoon. _

_ In spite of this possible point of contention, both boys had grown up together and remained close friends. Based on this, Seokjin decided he was going to give the prickly character a chance, first impression notwithstanding. _

_ As for Yoongi, it was almost magical how the second the creaking of the food cart was barely audible from their compartment, his eyes eased open without necessitating any involvement from the compartment’s other occupants.  _

_ However, Seokjin couldn't help but note with some trepidation that the casual malaise that seemed to cling to the boy’s every movement was contrasted by the sharp gleam in his eyes as he took in the sight of Seokjin and Namjoon huddling over the game. _

_ Not that Seokjin was intimidated or anything. _

_ Maybe just a little. _

_ “Oh, good. Yoongi, you're up.” Namjoon noted, still keeping an eye on the characters and waiting for the next chance to grab the controller. _

_ “You made a friend.” Yoongi’s tone could be considered disbelief, if one overlooked the lazy drawl. _

_ Namjoon looked over and glared in response. Seokjin didn't voice it aloud, just to save his new friend some dignity, but the pout he was throwing at the boy across from him was more on the cute end of the spectrum. He hoped he wasn't aiming for stern. _

_ He failed miserably if he was. _

_ “Shut up. I could make friends. Seokjin, tell him you're my friend.” _

_ “Um… I'm his friend,” Seokjin obliged. _

_ Okay, now the look that Yoongi was throwing their way was just plain rude. _

_ Seokjin raised his eyebrows back at the boy and stared, for a lack of a better response. Ha, that should show him. Seokjin totally had a handle on the situation. He’d never lost a staring contest in his life, and Yoongi had another thing coming if he thought he was starting today. _

_ Of course, the traitor, Namjoon, took his momentary distraction as an invitation to reclaim the controller. _

_ No, just no. Not happening. _

_ The following scuffle was not going to win him any cool points with Namjoon’s judgmental shadow, but this was his game, okay? _

_ And since the universe apparently had it out for him, he was in the middle of contemplating biting Namjoon’s hand because the boy was just that persistent, when the compartment door slid open again, this time revealing the round face of a boy their age. Everyone froze  _ — _ well, Yoongi wasn't really moving to begin with  _ — _ and stared at the newcomer. _

_ While he was clearly shocked silent by the hectic scene inside the compartment, it was still clear that the boy was also rather distressed by the barely concealed tears in his eyes. _

_ “You need something?” Yoongi’s gruff voice broke the silence. _

_ Seokjin sent him a stink eye, not that he thought Yoongi cared, but would it kill him to have a heart? _

_ The boy at the door seemed to wilt under their collective gazes but still managed to ask, “Have you seen a toad? My toad’s run off, again, and I can't find him anywhere.” _

_ “Sorry,” Seokjin hurriedly answered before Yoongi could open his mouth. Who knows what kind of remarks would come out if he did. “We haven't seen any toads.” _

_ “Oh,” the boy deflated even more, “I'll just keep looking.” _

_ “Actually, you want some help with that,” Yoongi asked. _

_ Seokjin stared at him in surprise. _

_ “Yeah, Namjoon here loses stuff all the time. He's got plenty of experience looking for shit. He wouldn't mind helping you out, right, Namjoon? Oh, and, Namjoon, you mind grabbing me something from the food cart while you're at it? Something sweet. I don't care what.” _

_ Of course. _

_ It didn't surprise Seokjin when Namjoon stood to do just that with only a wary glare thrown Yoongi’s way. _

_ As Namjoon ushered the boy out the doorway and off to who knows where, Seokjin managed to catch part of their conversation. The new boy was obviously still unsure about the turn of events. _

_ “You really don't have to do this! I’ll just keep looking. Trevor usually turns up on his own. Um, I'm Neville Longbottom, by the way,” the boy said, his voice fading as they wandered away from the compartment. _

_ Inside, however, the atmosphere abruptly turned cold. Yoongi didn't move, but the entire weight of his gaze fell on Seokjin. And with no Namjoon as a distraction, Seokjin was left wide eyed and clutching his controller. _

_ “Look. I don't know you, but Namjoon? I think you’ve talked with him enough to realize some things, right?” _

_ “He takes Mario way too seriously?” _

_ Yoongi just raised his eyebrow before continuing, “I don't know how things work for you British wizards, but back home things aren't so straightforward. Did Namjoon mention his family?” _

_ “Not really, but I guess they’re something of a big deal? You guys are  _ Yangban _ , right?” _

_ “Mm-hm. So, consider this a warning, this whole thing, coming to Hogwarts, studying abroad, was Namjoon’s idea, his father doesn't really approve of this. And he sure as hell isn’t going to approve of you.” _

_ Seokjin began to bristle at this, “So are you telling me I can't be friends with him? Because you can take that and shove it  _ — _ ” _

_ Yoongi gave a short laugh, “No. I'm giving you a warning. Namjoon’s a lot more sensitive than he looks, and I just don't want to deal with the shitstorm later when things go to shit because some pansy-ass decides that there are easier things to do than be friends with a  _ Yangban _ politician’s son.” _

_ Seokjin stared for a moment. _

_ He wanted to open his mouth and refute the implied accusation. _

_ But the thing was, Seokjin had been to Korea enough times to get the gist of what Yoongi was saying. He had seen firsthand the unspoken but strictly upheld social expectations. He had heard rumors, more horror stories really, of what happens to those who crossed those of higher power. And ultimately, that was all it was, here it was all about blood purity, but there it was about class power. Both were something completely out of people’s control and Seokjin didn't understand it. _

_ He knew himself. He wasn't complicated, and what he wanted was simply a comfortable existence. Conflict was difficult to avoid, of course, but he always tried his best to avoid situations that increased the likelihood. _

_ Situations like these. _

_ Namjoon apparently was going to throw a wrench in his plans for quietly powering through Hogwarts and bailing the second h _ e  _ graduated. _

_ But here, Yoongi was giving him an out. _

_ Seokjin studied the boy for a moment. He was speaking from experience, Seokjin was sure. There would be consequences to being of an elite class without the financial backings expected of it. He was sure the other boy didn't have it easy either, but he still managed to maintain a friendship with Namjoon. _

_ Suddenly, a wave of some unnamed emotion shook him as he really took in the situation. He thought of his grandfather and what he must have been thinking when he left his home. He thought of his father and mother for some odd reason. _

_ In the end he thought about Yoongi, and he was grateful. Yeah, he could see why Namjoon liked him, in all his prickly glory. _

_ Instead of answering, Seokjin reached into his pouch and pulled out his lunch boxes  _ — _ his mom knew he was a bottomless pit. _

_ “You want some ddeokpokki?” he asked. _

_ “What?” _

_ “It's really good. Mom always adds octopus because I said fish cakes alone were boring.” _

_ The confusion on Yoongi’s face was the most expressive he’d been all day. _

_ He took a moment to digest what Seokjin said before opening his mouth and trying again, “What?” _

_ “You told Namjoon to get something sweet. The cart lady only has snacks, I should know, I made dad tell me all about the food here. You shouldn't eat sweets on an empty stomach. So, you want some ddeokpokki? I think I have some sandwiches, too.” _

_ Yoongi blinked at him, “Did you not hear anything I just said? What the fuck, mate?” _

_ “Of course I did. I just assume you and Namjoon are going to be a packaged deal. And you're too skinny anyway. Also, did you know you curse a lot?” _

_ Yoongi stared at him. _

_ He let the Yoongi mull things over and busied himself looking for some utensils. They were going to have to share the chopsticks, he guessed. _

_ “What kind of sandwiches do you have?” Yoongi asked finally. _

_ Seokjin smiled and happily went about describing his lunch. _

_ By the time Namjoon got back, Yoongi was munching away at the ddeokpokki, while Seokjin was sulking with the sandwiches. He only offered  _ some _ of the rice cakes, not all. Yoongi chose to deliberately ignore his attempts at reclaiming them. _

_ “Did you get my sweets?” Yoongi asked. _

_ “Did you find his toad?” Seokjin followed with what he felt was a much more pertinent question. _

_ Rather than respond, Namjoon chucked two pumpkin pastries and a chocolate frog at Yoongi’s head. Only a pastry made contact but bounced harmless off the side of the boy’s head. Yoongi squinted at Namjoon, eyes promising future retribution. _

_ Namjoon ignored him. Although he did throw a few odd looks between Yoongi, Seokjin, and the extra food. _

_ “We didn't find the toad, but we ran into some girl who insisted on helping out. So I left Neville with her and came back,” he said, finally. _

_ “That's too bad. I hope he finds his toad soon,” Seokjin said. “You want a sandwich? I would offer ddeokpokki but some people don't know the meaning of the word ‘share’.” _

_ Yoongi didn't even bother to acknowledge his statement. _

_ As for Namjoon, he continued to look back and forth between the two boys, “So… that's it?” _

_ “What’s it? I have some gamja-jorim, but mom didn't pack a lot of side dishes.” _

_ “No, I mean…” Namjoon trailed off and glanced over at Yoongi. _

_ Yoongi just shook his head, “You can't have the ddeokpokki.” _

_ “Yes, he can! It’s not yours, anyway.” _

_ With purposefully slow movement, Yoongi picked up a rice cake and stuffed the entire thing in his mouth while holding eye contact with Seokjin. _

_ The asshole. _

_ If anything, Namjoon looked more confused by the interaction, “No, I meant to say, what are  _ — _ ” _

_ He stopped as abruptly as he started, still giving them odd looks. Then he just shrugged and slumped back in his seat. _

_ “You know what? Never mind. Can I have a sandwich?” _

_ Seokjin handed him one, and that was the end of that. _

_ The rest of the train ride was a relatively quiet one, although much more comfortable than before. Yoongi was even kind enough to share a pumpkin pastry with Seokjin and Namjoon, although that may have had to do more with taking the opportunity to hit the lightly dozing Namjoon in the face with the sweet. _

_ The girl who had helped Neville earlier had stopped by at some point and reminded them to change into their school robes, which they did with little complaint. _

_ By the time they were struggling into the rickety little boats that were supposed to carry them to the school, Seokjin would say that he had a relatively solid understanding of the two other boys and would happily call them both friends. _

_ Their boat ended up being only the three of them, since Seokjin was sitting next to Namjoon, and Yoongi just glared at anyone who dared approach him. _

_ And when their boat rounded the bend in the lake and the entirety of the castle became visible, Seokjin had to grudgingly give it to his dad; Hogwarts  _ was _ pretty cool. _

_ It also gave him a good chance to study Namjoon’s dimples as he took in the sight. _

_ On the other hand, the castle quickly lost points once they were off the boats and were lined up to enter the castle. Seokjin promised himself he would apologize to Namjoon later for the bruises on his arm and the ringing in his ears, when he screamed and latched onto the boy as the ghosts came through the wall to observe the First Years. _

_ He wouldn't be holding his breath for Yoongi’s apology for the scratches on his and Namjoon’s backs from the same incident, though. He was just grateful the other boy didn't rip their school robes in his fright. _

_ When the bustling of the students died down and they were finally ushered into the Great Hall, Seokjin was only mildly surprised to hear it was going to be a hat that was sorting them into their respective houses. His father did mention that the sorting process wasn't going to be anything taxing or painful, unlike what the rumors implied. _

_ What he  _ was _ surprised with was the hat’s singing. But before they knew it, names were being called and one by one the students sat down on the stool, and when their houses were announced, went to their respective tables. _

_ It was only when Professor McGonagall called, “Kim, Namjoon,” that Seokjin realized he was still clinging onto the other boy’s arm. _

_ He quickly let go, but automatically straightened Namjoon’s robes before backing off and letting the boy make his way to the center of the hall. _

_ It was a few long minutes before the crease in the hat opened and called, “ _ Slytherin _!” _

_ Seokjin was probably the only unsorted student who was clapping along with the students at the green table. Yoongi rolled his eyes at his antics, but he didn't pay the spoilsport any mind. He wanted to show his support. Namjoon was still his first friend at Hogwarts, after all. _

_ And he knew to appreciate Mario. _

_ He didn't have too much time to cheer, since as soon as Namjoon was seated, a sharp call rang for, “Kim, Seokjin.” _

_ Seokjin quickly made his way over, only pausing to smile shakily at Yoongi. _

_ Once seated, the hat was quickly settled over his head, obscuring his view of the hall. _

_ “Ha! Not too keen on Hogwarts, are you? Well, can't say this is a first, but definitely not something I've seen all too often,” he heard the hat’s voice in his head. _

_ “I’m sorry. If it's any consolation, I wouldn't have been happy with any wizarding school.” He hoped he hadn't hurt the hat’s feelings… did hats have feelings? Surely a singing one would have some level of sentience. _

_ The hat chuckled, “No harm done, child. You didn't want to leave your friends, isn't that right? It's good to see one with a level of conscientiousness. Now where to put you, hm?” _

_ Seokjin didn't know what to say, but he thought of Namjoon and Yoongi. He didn't care where he ended up, but they were his friends and since he’d decided it, he was going to keep them. So it didn't really matter which house he was in, he was going to make it work. _

_ “A tenacious one, aren't you? Keeping friendships between houses won't be an easy task. It will mean a lot of hardships.” _

_ Seokjin shook his head slightly. He didn't care. He knew it was going to be hard work from the beginning. Yoongi even warned him. _

_ “So be it. In that case, better be-” _

_ “ _ Hufflepuff _!” The hat called out. _

_ He quickly took off the hat and gingerly placed it back on the stool. As he was making his way over to the Hufflepuff’s table, he tried catching Namjoon’s eye, but the other boy was staring hard at the plate in front of him. _

_ ‘What's wrong with him,’ Seokjin wondered. He kept trying to get Namjoon’s attention until he heard Yoongi’s name being called. _

_ “Min, Yoongi.” _

_ It would be a lie to say he wasn't shocked when the hat barely touched Yoongi’s head before calling out, “ _ Huffepuff _!” _

_ Yoongi frowned the whole way over to Seokjin. It was much less shocking when he all but shoved over a boy already seated next to Seokjin to make room for himself. _

_ Seokjin debated apologizing to the other Hufflepuff, Justin Finch-Fletchley, but gave that idea up when Yoongi crowded his personal space to squint aggressively in his face. _

_ “We have a problem.” _

_ “Yeah. You've killed my personal space bubble. Please back off, Yoongi. I can't take you seriously when you're this close.” _

_ Yoongi did sit back a bit, but his squint was all the more intense, “This is all your fault.” _

_ “Wait, what's the problem exactly?” He thought about what Yoongi said for a moment and added, “And how is it my fault?” _

_ “Why the hell am I in Hufflepuff!” _

_ “How should I know? Wait, was that a rhetorical question?” _

_ “That wasn't a question. This is me explaining the problem to you. I am here. That's not suppose to happen. The only reason I went along with this whole thing was to look out for Namjoon. You don't understand. I don't care how many tests say he's a certified genius, that idiot is a fucking dumbass. I can't watch his sorry ass if I'm stuck over here!” _

_ “You know, it's probably thoughts like that that landed you in Hufflepuff.” _

_ “What?” _

_ “Weren't you listening to the hat?” _

_ “It’s a fucking singing hat!” _

_ “Well, it was singing for a reason! Hardworking and loyal, Yoongi. Those are the traits of Hufflepuff. You were probably all worried about Namjoon. No wonder the hat sorted you so quickly.” _

_ Yoongi stared at him for a minute before uttering a very vehement, “Fuck!” _

_ Seokjin was just about to bring up Yoongi’s unnecessary excess use of expletives again when all around them loud excited whispers broke out. He and Yoongi looked around in confusion before he caught the Macmillan kid saying, “Is that really Harry Potter?” _

_ He turned just in time to see the dark tuft of hair on a small figure disappear under the sorting hat. _

_ “Huh,” he said, mostly to himself, “I forgot he was starting school this year.” _

_ “Who's that? Is he famous or something? They were making a big fuss about him earlier on the train.” _

_ “Oh, yeah. I forgot you and Namjoon aren't from around here.” _

_ “So, he's famous?” _

_ “That's an understatement. I'll tell you guys later. Now, about Namjoon, I don't think you're giving him enough credit. The hat put him there for a reason. I'm sure he'll do fine.” _

_ “You have no idea. He’s known as the God of Destruction back home for a reason.” _

_ “Okay. You're going to have to tell me the story behind that later, but what are you so worried about. He still has us. We’re just in different houses, not planets.” _

_ Yoongi gave him a blank stare, “You sure  _ he  _ knows that?” _

_ Seokjin eyes widened in surprise, “What? Yes! He should  _ — _ I mean  _ — _ we were…” _

_ He looked over at the Slytherin table where Namjoon was clearly ignoring them. _

_ Seokjin felt his whole face pinch into what he could only assume was an expression of complete and utter dismay. _

_ “That fucking dumbass!” _

_ Yoongi reached over and patted him on the back, “Welcome to the club.” _

_ And so it was that while the rest of the student body began to belt out  _ Hoggy Warty Hogwarts _ , Seokjin occupied himself by glaring holes into the back of Namjoon’s head. Yoongi was seemingly too busy judging the entire British wizarding world to sing along with everyone. _

_ Dinner came and went, and the students were told to follow the prefects to their dormitories. Seokjin couldn’t help but feel an odd sense of emptiness while taking in the sight of Namjoon as he continued to avoid looking at the two of them. _

_ This simply would not do. _

_ As a public service announcement, it should be noted that two very determined Hufflepuffs on a mission were a terrifying sight to behold. _

_ It took one week and several hours of stalking later, but Yoongi and Seokjin were finally able to corner Namjoon. Although, they had a slight hitch in their plans when one of the Slytherins, a Theodore Nott, had taken it as a personal slight that two seemingly inoffensive first-year Hufflepuffs had the gall to attempt to abscond with one of his housemates. The entire thing came to head in an unfortunately public setting. _

_ One thing was made readily clear from the encounter: Pureblood children were not often faced with good-old, physical threats in a schoolyard confrontation. _

_ What Yoongi lacked in physicality, he made up for in pure, rage-fueled ferocity. He fought like a berserker with nothing to lose. _

_ Seokjin, being a loyal and conscientious friend, made sure to hold onto Yoongi’s wand and cloak for safekeeping as Yoongi single-handedly destroyed all preconceptions about House Hufflepuff in one vicious swoop, colorful profanity and all. _

_ Fortunately, the incident was largely swept under the rug by both parties present, mainly due to mutually assured shame. _

_ The Hufflepuffs were simply not ready to have their peaceful reputation so utterly tarnished, while the Slytherins simply couldn't admit defeat to the badgers, and first years no less. _

_ And, yet, despite the embarrassment from the entire fiasco, Namjoon remained mulishly doubtful of the sincerity of their friendship. It took some effort on Seokjin’s part not to allow Yoongi to beat some sense into their idiot friend, but the time of violence was over. Also, Seokjin wasn't really sure how effective the physical persuasion would be with someone who actually grew up with Yoongi. _

_ He mentioned as much to his still fuming housemate, and Yoongi responded with a loud, “Well,  _ you _ talk to him! I'm out!” _

_ Yoongi emphatically grabbed both his robe and wand back from Seokjin and proceeded to storm away, leaving in his wake a hallway full of petrified Hufflepuffs, not all of whom were first years. _

_ Seokjin took Namjoon’s momentary distraction by Yoongi’s dramatic exit as a good opportunity to take him by the hand and drag him away to a more secluded area. They ended up in an empty classroom, where Seokjin immediately shoved Namjoon into a chair and all but sat on him to get him to stay. _

_ He made a point to look directly into the taller boy’s eyes as he spoke, “Namjoon, listen to me, okay? I'm not smart like you, and I don't have a way with words like you, so don't expect anything fancy, but you  _ are _ going to listen to what I have to say. Understood?” _

_ Namjoon nodded at him, probably shocked silent by his forward approach. _

_ “You asked me to tell Yoongi that I was your friend when we were on the train, remember?” _

_ Namjoon nodded again, blushing slightly at the reminder. _

_ “I have to admit, I probably didn't really mean it at the time, because you know, that's a weird request and all. But, after you left, you know what Yoongi told me?” _

_ Namjoon shook his head. _

_ “He said that being your friend was a hassle. And he's right. You are a problem and a half, Namjoon. You're stubborn, too smart for your own good, and without enough common sense to figure your way around people. Your family is going to hate my guts, probably more than they do Yoongi’s. And you don’t even have the decency to appreciate this.” _

_ Namjoon only stared at him. Seokjin continued before the other boy could process his words enough to be hurt. _

_ “But, you know what? Yoongi thinks you’re worth the hassle, okay?”   _

_ Namjoon continued to stare. _

_ “And I think you’re pretty cool, too. You listened to me go on about Mario and still wanted to play. You’re a weirdo. And I’m awkward. But I like you. So I think you’re worth it, too. Okay? Nod if you understand.” _

_ Namjoon nodded, eyes glistening slightly. _

_ “So, I’m saying it again and I really, really mean it now. You are my friend, Namjoon. And that means I'm going to be here, whether you like it or not. And as Yoongi would put it,  _ fuck the houses _.” _

_ Namjoon gave a little choked laugh. Seokjin couldn’t help but lean in to hug him. _

_ “You might be stubborn, Namjoon, but I’ll have you know I’m pretty stubborn, too. I already decided. I’ll always be here for you, okay?” _

_ It took a few seconds, but eventually he heard Namjoon whisper, “Okay.” _

_ Seokjin smiled and released... _

… a breath he didn't realized he was holding.

He didn’t know how much time had passed, how long he had been lost in memory.

It was good, he thought to himself.

Not always, of course, but it had been really good. He was lucky to have them, his friends. They were all stupid, idiot goof-balls, but they were his, and he wouldn't change any second of it even knowing the end. It was probably him being naive, but Seokjin couldn’t work up the slightest doubt that it had all been worth it.

He got to say good-bye, even.

Who knew how many were lucky enough to get even that. He wanted more, though. He wished he had said something to Yoongi and Jimin before running off, but at least he was sure Yoongi understood. And the younger boys, Merlin, he hoped they were all okay. But, Taehyung and Hoseok weren’t even in a house with anyone else.

Please, please, please, don’t let them do anything stupid.

At least with Jungkook, Seokjin was certain that Namjoon wouldn’t have run off without making sure the youngest in their group was safe.

And, Namjoon. Seokjin bit his lips as he tried to ignore the pangs of guilt. He never intended to break his promise.

Maybe someday Namjoon will forgive him.


	3. Seokjin Part III

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um... Fair warning this chapter contains what I meant by "Heavy Angst." 
> 
> We'll be switching POV next chapter.
> 
> See End Notes for spoiler?

Seokjin didn't know if the racing of his heart was due to the curse or the sudden realization that he didn't know and wouldn't know what would happen to all of them, his friends. He wouldn't be there. Their future would never be meant for him. It was getting so hard to breathe.

He didn't want to look at what the curse was doing to him, and he didn't really have to. The alternating burning and freezing was so much harder to ignore now. He could feel it spreading through him, as the burn reached through to his back and upwards to his chest.

His head fell back against the stones as he gasped for breath. It was so cold, but the burn still hurt so much.

In.

Out.

Seokjin gasped and closed his eyes. The stones were unyielding and cold against his back.

_ In. _

_ Out. _

_ Seokjin gasped as Namjoon pressed him up against the stone wall and took the opportunity to ravage his mouth. It was late, and the room was unused and unlocked. He didn't know how he talked Namjoon into this; he was usually better at putting up a fight with Seokjin’s stupider ideas, and this time the Hufflepuff boy had meant it more as a tease than any real intention. _

_ Yet, here they were, snogging in an empty classroom down in the dungeons. No one really came down this way, as the Potions classroom was further up the hallway, but it was still an unnecessary risk. _

_ Although, that was half the fun. _

_ Which was probably why things got as heated as quickly as they did. One second they were kissing, the next, Seokjin was on his knees in front of Namjoon and taking his entire length in his mouth. He was quite proud of how Namjoon was responding. The way Namjoon’s hand gripped his hair and the sounds and incoherent words he was uttering, all proof that Seokjin owned him. _

_ And he knew; he knew Joonie was close. _

_ It was unfortunate that they were so consumed in the moment that neither noticed the footsteps coming down the hall. _

_ It was even more unfortunate that the second Namjoon came, the door to the classroom flew open with a thundering clap. _

_ Seokjin whirled around, and there in the doorway, stood the black silhouette of Professor Snape. _

_ Seokjin’s mouth dropped open in shock. _

_ This was the third unfortunate point of the evening because, in his shock, he'd forgotten that his mouth was quite full. It took him a few, sad, horrible seconds to realize he was dribbling all over himself and the floor, and he quickly clapped his hand over his mouth. _

_ The answer to the age old question of spit or swallow had never been so clear. _

_ As for Namjoon, Seokjin could hear him struggling to pull up his pants while trying to cover himself before the inevitable happened. He heard a rip and an undignified yelp before Namjoon came crashing down beside him. A quick glance over proved that yes, Namjoon had truly and utterly ripped his pants and was tangled in the remains. _

_ And he was now face planted on the floor with his lovely untanned ass in the air. _

_ Seokjin looked back at the professor, feeling absolutely defeated. _

_ As for Professor Snape, Seokjin had never seen such an expression on the man’s face. His right eye was twitching something fierce while his mouth kept opening and closing, as if struggling to find words. Finally, he glared at them, well, mostly Seokjin, as Namjoon had made no effort to extricate himself from his compromising position. _

_ Then, as suddenly as he appeared, Snape turned and left, cape billowing out for a second before the door slammed shut behind him. _

_ Needless to say, neither boy would ever dare to use the empty classrooms for their midnight rendezvous after that; at least, not without a myriad of warding, which they became sadly adept at. _

_ At that time, though, Seokjin had simply patted Namjoon’s bum in what he hoped was a comforting manner. It took some maneuvering to untangle the other boy, but they managed. A quick  _ reparo  _ for Namjoon’s pants and a thorough  _ scourgify  _ for Seokjin’s… everything were a minor fix for the night, but they were semi-presentable. _

_ It would certainly take more than a few household spells to get rid of their flaming faces, however. Seokjin doubted anything less than an _ obliviate _ would do the trick. _

_ Namjoon finally broke the silence with a mournful, “I'm so sorry, Jinnie.” _

_ Puzzled, Seokjin couldn't help but ask, “Why?” _

_ Namjoon looked him directly in the eyes and stated, “Your next Potions class is tomorrow, isn't it?” _

_ Seokjin couldn't… _

… breathe. The burn was slowly but surely making its way to his lungs. It was such a struggle to draw in each breath. Every gasp brought with it a new agony, a new burning from deep inside his chest.

His breath caught, and he coughed and coughed. He couldn't stop, and his throat…

…  _ burned from screaming at the two dumbasses rolling around his living room. It was a bloody disaster. He should have listened to his common sense and not invited Namjoon and Ken over at the same time. _

_ Okay, he was hoping his one muggle friend who had remained his friend despite him going off to boarding school and one of his first friends in the wizarding world (and current crush, but no one needed to know that  _ — _ except Yoongi who threatened to sit on him until he admitted it) would get along. _

_ But no, from the first moment that the two of them set eyes on one another, it was full blown animosity. Although, Seokjin would like to give credit where it was due, Ken had been initially neutral with the new boy, but Namjoon’s bad attitude was contagious. _

_ Which was really shocking, in retrospect, considering that Namjoon was often so well-spoken and was generally amicable to company, often because he kept his thoughts and emotions to himself. To see him so expressive, and so blatantly antagonistic, was something so far out of character that Seokjin was left floundering to save the situation. _

_ He figured a nice movie would be best, as talking wasn't really necessary. He’d wanted to watch  _ The Lion King  _ last summer in theatres but the timing was off and by the time he could, all the boys had seen it, and going with your parents was lame. _

_ The idea worked, for bit. _

_ He forgot what was so funny about the hyenas, but he turned to Ken to make what was likely a terrible pun. Not wanting to disturb Namjoon’s first exposure to animated film, Seokjin put an arm around Ken to pull him closer so that he could whisper it into his ear. However, the movement caught Namjoon’s attention, and Seokjin really didn't know what happened next, but one snide remark too many from Namjoon and all hell broke loose. _

_ Both boys were in a full out brawl in the middle of Seokjin’s living room, and there was nothing Seokjin could do to stop it. _

_ He tried yelling that his mother would return soon. _

_ He said he would stop being friends with the both of them. _

_ He even threatened to cry. _

_ He was ignored. _

_ So, he was done with the both of them. That was it. He was done; he was done with the frustration, the anger, and ultimately, the disappointment. Let them beat the shit out of each other, what did he care? It wasn't like either of them were giving him any thought. _

_ He left the room. _

_ And… now what? He was alone in the kitchen. _

_ It wasn't like he could completely bail. It was his house, and they were his guests, even if they were ungrateful arse-faces. _

_ Seokjin heaved a sigh, and with nothing better to do, he grabbed the apron, a frilly pink monstrosity he’d convinced his dad to get his mom, and went to work at washing the dishes. Sure there were spells for this, but one, he was underage, and two, it would kill some time while the two idiots in the next room hopefully killed one another and rid him of the hassle of doing it himself. _

_ He was in the middle of rinsing when he realized the house was quiet  _ — _ ominously quiet. _

_ “Oh, shit.” He stared wide-eyed at the tiled back splash. _

_ They really did kill each other. _

_ He kept rinsing. _

_ He’d panic when he's done. _

_ Fuck, all he had was Windex, and he wasn't sure how that would work on blood and hardwood floors. Bleach couldn't be good on the floor, could it? Oh Merlin, what about the bodies? There would be three because his mother was was going to murder him when she found out. _

_ Oh, look, the panic was hitting a little early, fuck. _

_ This was all his fault. _

_ He was elbow deep in suds and water and trying not to bite a hole through his lip while he planned out his inevitable demise, so he could be forgiven for not hearing the kitchen door open. _

_ It was a miracle and a half that he didn't drop the dish he was holding when a pair of arms slipped around his waist and pull him back into a tight hug. _

_ “I'm a stupid dumbass, and I don't know why you all put up with me,” Namjoon’s voice was right to his ear. _

_ The taller boy rested his head on Seokjin’s shoulder and let out a breath, the warm puff of air brushing briefly over Seokjin’s collar. He froze up, not sure what to do since Namjoon didn't appear to be moving any time soon. He really hoped the pounding of his heart wasn't as audible for Namjoon as it was for him. _

_ And Merlin’s hairy, saggy  _ balls _ , if Namjoon didn't let go of him soon, he'd just keel over from a busted artery. This boy would be the death of him, he just knew it. _

_ He viciously squashed down the part of him that was all but purring at the confirmation that Namjoon’s hug was all it promised to be in his imagination.  _ Shut up, brain. No one likes you _. _

_ “I'm really, really sorry for ruining your day, Jinnie.”  Namjoon started again. _

_ Seokjin hated himself for only noticing how warm Namjoon’s breath was, how warm his everything was really.  _ Curse you, brain, you useless piece of shit _. _

_ Before he could get his thoughts lined up to say that of course he forgave him (like there was ever a chance he wouldn't), Namjoon backed away, and Seokjin couldn't help but pout internally. _

_ But then, Namjoon’s hand was back in his shoulder. _

_ “Hey, could you put the dishes down and look at me? I have something I want to say, and I swear you can kick me out after.” _

_ Seokjin quickly dropped the plate in the sink and wiped his hands on the apron, all the while lamenting the fact that it was hideously pink and frilly. Karma was such a bitch. _

_ “What is it, Joonie?” _

_ Namjoon stared at him. He looked honestly terrified, and Seokjin didn't know how to fix it. _

_ “I just want to say _ — _ ” Namjoon stopped and started again. “I just have to say…” _

_ “Say what?” _

_ “I mean you are just _ — _ ” _

_ “Just what? Joonie, you're not making any sense.” _

_ “I, um, I, like, uh, just  _ — _ ” _

_ Then, faster than Seokjin could comprehend, Namjoon stepped forward and kissed him. Just like that, Namjoon’s lips were on his and before he could even really appreciate them, they were gone, and Namjoon was backing away, face red. _

_ “I'm so sorry, Jin! I  _ — _ I'll just go…” _

Oh, no, he fucking didn't _ , Seokjin thought to himself. _

_ Whatever curses he had lined up completely flew out of his head and all he could muster was an animalistic growl. “You!” _

_ He grabbed Namjoon by the neck of his shirt and tugged him back for a proper fucking kiss. Well, he wasn't really sure what he was doing but he was definitely getting his point across. Namjoon better appreciate the shit he put up with for him. _

_ Although slamming their faces together made for an awkward and rather painful start to a beautiful relationship, they didn't really care at the time, but the sad fact of the matter was that a surprise kiss often left room for a lot of errors. In their case, it was the painful collision of teeth. Seokjin was pretty sure his lip was bleeding, and had the situation been different, he might have preferred to mope about his failed attempt at kissing. _

_ However, convincing Namjoon was first priority. _

_ And as Namjoon relaxed and his arms finally came back around Seokjin’s waist, their kiss became everything Seokjin had ever wanted and more. Not for finesse, but for all the unspoken promises. _

_ But reality was a bitch. _

_ There was water and a bit of soap on the floor. _

_ Namjoon was present. _

_ And as the kiss deepened, the passionate moment came to an abrupt end when Namjoon slipped on said water and they both came tumbling down into a hot mess. _

_ Seokjin hated his life. _

_ The icing on the cake was looking up from the floor and seeing Ken in the doorway, munching on a bowl of popcorn. _

_ “Just for the record, I like boobs,” he said around a mouthful, “and I think you two deserve each other.” _

_ Seokjin groaned … _

… once the coughing fit passed. He felt himself sagging against the barrier, gasping. He kept hearing Namjoon's voice in his head telling him to keep breathing, keep breathing.

He was trying. He really was.

But he was just so…

_ … tired. This was not how he had pictured his evening going, not by any stretch of the imagination. Looking back on how his day had started, there was really no logical explanation for why he was now squeezed in between six other bodies on his own bloody bed, but here he was. Thank you, Yoongi, for the expansion charm otherwise this could be so much worse. _

_ Actually, he took that back. There was one solid explanation for this. And his name was Taehyung Kim. _

_ Earlier in the day, they had decided to sequester themselves in an uninhabited corner of the library, since the autumn chill had taken a slight turn to the more biting winter cold. Initially, it was just the Hufflepuffs, since Yoongi and their roommate, Macmillan, had a little spat, that was just short of coming to blows (much to Jimin’s amusement and Jin’s concern), over the boys’ habit of bringing their non-House friends into their House common room. One would have thought that after four years of this, the other Hufflepuff would be used to it. _

_ The memory of the first time they dragged Namjoon back with them was still hilarious. _

_ In any case, Jimin and Jin were forced to simply drag Yoongi somewhere else to cool off. Hoseok had joined them, of course, since wherever Yoongi went his shadow was sure to follow. _

_ The four of them hadn't been there long when they were met with the familiar sight of Luna Lovegood dragging Taehyung toward them. Jin felt his smile drop when the two Ravenclaws approached, and he could clearly make out the prominent dark circles under the boy’s eyes. _

_ Luna didn't bother with a greeting and simply dumped Taehyung into one of the empty chairs at their table and said, “He has a bad infestation of nargles. Do fix him. I heard a strong dose of ginger and agrimony root will do the trick.” _

_ “Thanks, Luna,” Jin made sure to call since the girl was off as soon as she finished speaking. He never understood why she never stuck around with them. At the very least, Taehyung seemed to get along fine with her. _

_ Speaking of whom, by the time he turned his attention back to the boy, Hoseok and Jimin had already descended on him. _

_ “Oh, my god, Tae! You look like shit!” Jimin was as eloquent as ever. _

_ “What happened?” Hoseok asked, almost overlapping Jimin. _

_ Taehyung just slumped further into seat, and let his head fall onto the table. This was followed by some incoherent mumbles. _

_ “Are you feeling ill, Taetae? Do you want us to take you the infirmary?” Jin hazarded a guess at what the hell Taehyung was saying. _

_ The Ravenclaw boy shook his head, or rather, rolled it back and forth on the table since he hadn't bothered to lift it. Again, more mumbling, this time with some higher intonations, probably indicating some exclamations. _

_ “Did you drink some random potion, again?” Hoseok asked. _

_ More mumbles. _

_ “Did you get turned down, again? You should just give up, mate; I don't think Angelina is interested,” Jimin said, then paused to think. “Or Roger, for that matter.” _

_ “Or Dean,” Hoseok added. _

_ “Or Marietta,” Jimin continued. _

_ “Or Daphne.” _

_ “Or Draco.” _

_ Hoseok’s eyes widened, “Dude. Did he really ask Draco out?” _

_ Jimin nodded sagely, “Yup.” _

_ “Wow, Tae.” _

_ Taehyung just huffed and added some more mumbles to the conversation. _

_ Jin didn't know how long things would have continued this way, so he was probably in the minority who was thankful when Yoongi finally lost his grip on his already short temper. Honestly, he could have stopped him but didn't. Instead, he sat back and watched as Yoongi crumpled a whole scroll of parchment, quill and all, and chucked the entire ball at Taehyung’s head. _

_ “Sit up and talk like a normal human being! I can’t understand a fucking thing you're saying,” Yoongi yelled. _

_ That did the trick, and Taehyung popped right up, looking slightly like a harried gopher. Of course, Madam Pince chose that moment to appear out of nowhere just to peek around the corner and shush them. _

_ With practiced ease, they all threw on properly chagrined faces, and Pince slowly backed away, returning to whatever dark depths that evil librarians disappeared to when they weren’t prowling for hapless students to spring on. They all stayed still for a few seconds after, but Jimin broke first. His giggles were ridiculously contagious, so it was no surprise when they all broke out in laughter, which they quickly stifled in case the Dreaded Pince returned. _

_ When everyone finally settled down, half of them wiping at tears, Seokjin took the time to study Taehyung, who was looking more like his lively self, although the image was still marred by the dark circles. _

_ Seokjin couldn't help but ask, “Hey, so what happened?” _

_ Watching Taehyung’s smile disintegrate made him almost regret asking, but it felt important. Besides, Luna tended to have good instincts, and she brought him to them for a reason _

_ “It's nothing really. I'm just being stupid,” Taehyung finally answered, the wavering jump in octaves in his voice was still something everyone was getting used to. Honestly, Seokjin was willing to bet that when puberty finally finished its job with the kid, Taehyung might be rivaling Namjoon for the deepest voice. _

_ “Well, it can't be nothing if you look that much like a pile of shit in a rainstorm,” Yoongi pointed out. _

_ Seokjin gave him a side-eye. He really should just give up trying to get Yoongi to behave. It's not like he could use the old ‘no one likes a grumpy old sloth’ argument anymore, since despite everything, Yoongi managed to find himself with the human embodiment of sunshine mooning over him. Even the threat of daily verbal disembowelment could not deter the Gryffindor. _

_ So, after having to watch Hoseok make doe-eyes at Yoongi for Merlin knows how long, Seokjin just gave it up as the universe’s demand for balance, and just washed his hands of the matter. What Yoongi was Yoongi would be. The end. _

_ Besides, he had a point. Poor Taehyung did look like he hadn't slept for at least a week. The fact that he was being mum about it had Seokjin all the more worried. _

_ Which was mainly why he didn't interfere when the combined forces of Jimin, Hoseok, and Yoongi were unleashed on the guy. It was like pulling teeth but eventually Taehyung caved. _

_ From what Seokjin could make of the story, it seemed like Professor Moody had taken Professor Lupin’s route of introducing the third years to the boggart. And Taehyung was one of the students who didn't have much luck with using the  _ riddikulus _. _

_ “I just couldn't think of anything funny about it,” Taehyung admitted. _

_ Hoseok threw an arm around him and said, “No, I got you. Me too. So, you know how he just calls you to step up and the boggart changes, right? I almost wet myself when he called my name.” _

_ Jimin nodded, “Yeah, it was a joint Hufflepuff and Gryffindor class. I thought he was going to faint.” _

_ “Yeah. So I stepped up and bam! There was this bloody giant python in front of me, so I figure why not make it a spring, right?” _

_ “Oh, yes, great idea, Hoseok.” _

_ “Shush, I'm telling the story here,” Hoseok laughed, even though he was looking a bit green from the memory. “So I do the spell. And this fucking python starts bouncing all over the classroom. Let me tell you, there's nothing worse than a bouncing python. So now I can officially say, I have a new fear.” _

_ “You and about half the class,” Jimin mumbled. _

_ “I hate snakes.” _

_ “Don't let Namjoon and Jungkook hear you say that.” _

_ “I said snakes, not Slytherins!” _

_ Seokjin sighed at the story, but was relieved to see the boxy grin back on Taehyung’s face. _

_ “So what was your fear, anyway?” Yoongi asked. _

_ Taehyung just shook his head, “It's stupid, hyung.” _

_ “Were you not listening to Hoseok? He set a bouncing python on our class,” Jimin pointed out. _

_ “Come on, Tae, tell us. Maybe hyung can help you,” Seokjin put in his two cents. _

_ “And trust me, you don't know stupid. This genius here turned his boggart into a fucking Tyrannosaurus Rex and then proceeded to just gape at the thing,” Yoongi, the great spiller of tea, just had to inform everyone. _

_ Seokjin pouted. “Jurassic Park came out that summer!” _

_ “Oh! I remember everyone talking about that,” Jimin jumped in, “That's legendary, hyung! I didn't know that was you. Wow, that makes my banshee so boring, now.” _

_ “And if it makes you feel any better, mine turned into my entire extended family yelling,” Yoongi threw out.   _

_ That got Taehyung’s attention, “Why?” _

_ “When you have a shit ton of judgemental assholes in your family, you end up second guessing everything you do. So, I guess my fear is being seen as the family loser.” _

_ See, the thing about Yoongi was that he was awfully thoughtful with things like this. Seokjin was well aware their stories weren't doing the trick, since Taehyung was very good at keeping quiet about things that bothered him. This just went to show that Yoongi was really just a big softie at heart to reveal something like that, not that Seokjin would ever tell him that to his face. _

_ He thought about giving Yoongi a comforting pat, but Hoseok beat him to it when he all but flew across the table and tugged Yoongi in a bear hug before he even had a chance to blink. Yoongi shrugged it off, of course, all the while grumbling, but Seokjin noticed the little upturn in the corner of his mouth. _

_ He was onto the grump. Yoongi loved this shit. _

_ Taehyung fidgeted a bit before finally telling them, “I just saw myself, and I was all alone…” _

_ “You're scared of yourself? That fucked up, mate,” Jimin said. _

_ “No, it wasn't that. I mean, it was me, but I was old and shit.” _

_ Yoongi snorted, “Tae, everybody gets old.” _

_ “No! It's not that!” Taehyung huffed and fell silent. _

_ Seokjin stepped in before anyone else jumped down the Ravenclaw’s throat, “So, what is it, Tae? Sorry, but your hyungs are kind of slow.” _

_ The boy just looked at the table for bit, biting his lips. Then, he heaved a sigh and said, “I'm just scared of ending up alone.” _

_ “Oh, Taetae,” Seokjin breathed, and he was out of his seat and headed over to the boy. He roughly grabbed a hold on the boy’s head and tried to squeeze the fear out of him. _

_ “Is this why you keep fucking asking people out?” _

_ “Yoongi, not the time!” _

_ Since his face was still squashed in Jin’s hug, Taehyung's voice came out a bit muffled, but he continued to explain, “And, after that, it’s like every time I go to sleep, I keep seeing it. And it's so stupid, but the dormitory is so quiet at night. So I just couldn't sleep, you know?” _

_ Hoseok spoke up after everyone lapsed into a somber silence,“Okay, you know what we have to do?” _

_ “What?” Jimin asked. _

_ “Group hug!”   _

_ Of course, Jimin was on that faster than a Seeker on a Snitch. And by the grace of Hoseok’s sheer bubbly will, he even managed to drag Yoongi into the impromptu hug fest. _

_ It did the trick, and they were all a bundle of laughs by the end of it. _

_ “Feel better?” Hoseok asked Taehyung once they finally disentangled themselves. _

_ He nodded. And if the Ravenclaw boy was rubbing at his eyes a tad longer than necessary, no one mentioned it. _

_ “But what are we going to do about your sleeping problem?” Jimin pointed out. _

_ “It's okay, guys. I'll get over it; it's no big deal, really.” _

_ “Have you looked in the mirror lately? I mean, it wasn't good before, but now it's seriously hideous.” _

_ Jimin took after Yoongi way too much for Seokjin’s comfort sometimes. _

_ Hoseok piped up again, breaking Seokjin’s train of thought, “I have a great idea!” _

_ One thing led to another, and here they were, all seven of them piled onto one bed. Seokjin was surprised Yoongi didn't put up more of a fight since the whole day had been much more touchy-feely than he thought Yoongi was comfortable with. That was, until he remembered the fight they had with Ernie that morning. Nothing said ‘fuck you’ better than bringing the whole gang in for a sleepover. _

_ Somehow, Namjoon and Jungkook got wind of the plan, and even before Seokjin gave his okay, the two Slytherins had shown up beside the barrel that led to the Hufflepuff common room. And then it was just too late to say no. Really, Jungkook was too adorable normally, but in his sleepwear with his stuffed bunny, it was just too much. Jimin got the thing for him last Christmas as a joke, but now the small Slytherin always made sure to bring it along to all their social gatherings. _

_ The only highlight of the evening was watching Ernie’s eyes bug out as they all trooped into the room. _

_ In the end, Taehyung was out like a light, so it was worth it. _

_ However, the downsides were many. Namjoon snored like a congested dragon, Yoongi was all painful elbows and knees, Hoseok was splayed out and taking up too much room, Taehyung couldn't seem to decide on a position and was constantly tossing and turning, Jimin was giving him a heart attack with how close he clung to the edge, and Jungkook had decided that Seokjin was the best mattress. _

_ They were all lucky he adored them as much as he did. They were all fuckers, the lot of them. _

_ Here he was being squished on all sides and everything was too goddamn… _

...hot. It was getting too hot to breathe. The burning in his lungs had intensified to the point of being all consuming.

It really hurt. He had to admit, this dying shit really fucking hurt.

He wanted them. He wanted his friends. Being too hot, too cold, and alone in some broken corridor fucking sucked.

He wanted Namjoon.

He wanted to hear him repeating their class materials again, exactly the same but somehow so much easier to understand. He wanted to hear him sing in his slightly off key way when he thought no one was listening. He just wanted to hear Namjoon.

But right here, right now, his heart was thundering too quickly, too loudly.

Just this horrendous thudding.

Ba-bum. Ba-bum.

_ Ba-bum. Ba-bum. _

_ His heart was racing as he stared into Namjoon’s eyes. Seokjin was distinctly aware of the sea of grinning faces around them as their dumbass friends gleefully waited, and he was fully aware of the presence of the mistletoe hanging above their heads like an axe waiting to drop. _

_ It really shouldn’t be that big of a deal. They've been going out since the summer before fifth year, so more than two years. They've kissed a hundred times, and so much more. It was more of the fact that, considering how long they'd all been friends, Namjoon and Seokjin had never really been big on PDA in front of ‘the kids.’ _

_ And this? This was awkward as fuck. Who the fuck’s idea was it to put a magical mistletoe here? _

_ Wait. Jimin and Jungkook had been looking too fucking pleased with themselves the whole day. _

_ Those brats would pay. _

_ After all he’d done for them, this is how they treated him? _

_ Namjoon gave a huge sigh while Seokjin was occupied plotting his revenge. He sent the Slytherin Head Boy a questioning look, and all he got in response was a resigned smile. _

_ Dimples be damned. Why, Namjoon? _

_ Fine. He would just get this over with and murder the children after. _

_ “Hey, Namjoon! Remember what you said about a peck versus a kiss?” Jimin, the little shit, called from outside the magical barrier. _

_ “So make sure there’s tongue! You won't be able to leave until you do,” Jungkook joined in. Oh, the betrayal. Seokjin thought he raised him better than this. _

_ “This is a peck free zone,” Jimin managed to add through his laughter. “No pecks allowed!” _

_ Oh, he thought he was so funny. Let's see who would be laughing when Seokjin was skinning them for their treacherous hides. _

_ Turning his attention back to Namjoon, he was glad to see the pulsing vein in his neck and the clenched teeth, both of which promised that Seokjin would have an accomplice in his future plans for murder. He geared himself up to take the plunge. _

_ Taking a couple of quick breaths and going as far as to slap himself a few times, he manned up and dived in. _

_ Thankfully, this kiss went much better than their first, even taking the unwanted audience into consideration. In a familiar and well-practiced motion, Seokjin tilted his head and opened his mouth to allow Namjoon better ease to explore at will. His arms automatically came up to wrap around Namjoon’s shoulders at the same time Namjoon’s rose to wrap around his waist. _

_ And just for a moment, the world was theirs. _

_ Seokjin moaned into Namjoon's mouth. _

_ And then the moment was broken. _

_ “Okay, on second thought, I didn't really need to see that,” Jimin said. _

_ “Or hear that,” Jungkook followed. _

_ “Wait, what did Namjoon say about a peck versus a kiss?” Taehyung asked. _

_ “O for outstanding on execution, you two,” Hoseok added. _

_ “I hate all of you,” Yoongi remarked. _

_ Yeah, no. Revenge could wait. He needed to deal with the embarrassment first. _

_ Seokjin shot out of the vicinity with speed that would have impressed the makers of the Firebolt. Behind him, he could hear Namjoon’s thunderous roar and the kids fleeing. _

_ “Get your asses back here, you mother fucking _ — _ ” Namjoon’s voice receded with his thundering footsteps as he took chase after the scattering boys. _

_ Seokjin just had his face in his hands as he listened to the footsteps fade… _

_... _ He let his eyes fall shut. They were too heavy. It didn't hurt so much anymore. The beating was quieting, and now there was blessed silence.

The battle was so far away now, and he was tired. But in his mind, the whispering echoes of Namjoon’s voice continued to urge him.

Keep breathing, keep breathing.

He was trying so hard to comply. Everything was coming in short gasps.

He was colder now, the burn had ebbed away, but now there was only a shocking freeze.

He was too tired to even shiver, too tired to do anything really, but to listen to the echoes.

It's funny really. He thought he could hear it now. Not only the echoes of the whispers, but the familiar thumping of Namjoon’s footsteps, just like they had thumped away after the boys.

Keep breathing, keep breathing.

In.

Out.

It had been a lovely Christmas. The boys were really lovely.

Footsteps thundered on stones, and laughter and screams were distorted in the distance.

Keep breathing.

In.

Out.

He needed to try a little longer. Maybe if he tried, Namjoon’s footsteps might come for him.

It was a lovely kiss.

Keep breathing.

In.

Out.

He wanted to try. It was a hopeless kind of hope, but it was worth a try.

Footsteps slapped against the stones.

He missed his Joonie.

Footsteps slapped against the stones.

In.

Out.

In.

Out.

And then corridor was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Death fic. Sorry!


	4. Namjoon Part I

Although it went completely against what he told Seokjin — since this was the exact kind of stupid thing his boyfriend had not wanted him to do — the second Namjoon saw the students off through the portrait, he immediately turned around and made his way back. He did have to admit he was rather touched when Birtwistle ran back to him for a hug before following the others. The prickly second-year was rather infamous among his fellow Slytherin for his standoffish nature. It was nice to see that all it took were several harrowing misadventures and a close encounter with death to loosen the kid up a bit.

Namjoon headed back, this time making his way down a different flight of stairs just to make his way back up later. Being a rather pragmatic person himself, he struggled to ignore the counter-productiveness of it all. If all went as planned though, Namjoon hoped he would meet up with Seokjin somewhere in the middle, and then he could finally put that nagging dread in the pit of his stomach to rest — the dread that was rocketing up to full blown anxiety as his descent brought him closer and closer to the combat. He was beginning to regret his decision to leave Seokjin to fend for himself more and more as he was forced to duck and hide from the Dark Lord’s people. In doing so, he was forced to move through the thick of the battle.

If there was ever a time to regret staying in Britain, this was the closest Namjoon would ever come to it. On the other hand, his father’s dictum that he was to ‘immediately terminate his liaison with that  _ Chungin _ mixbreed’ might have had something to do with his semi-permanent stay here, despite the social and political upheaval.

He was just rounding a corner when he was forced to duck back, flattening himself against the wall and hoping the darkened corridor was enough to cover him as one of Voldemort’s spiders scuttled past.

Thankfully, it was apparently in a hurry to get wherever it was going as it rushed by, none the wiser to the frozen boy.

Namjoon waited a moment, heart pounding at the close call. He took that moment to calm his pounding heart and to really take in the sight that lay beyond the dark crevice he was tucked in. It would be a lie to say that his breath didn’t catch every time a burst of light streaked across the entrance to the hallway, briefly through the shadow — or every time the ground trembled alongside the thundering crashes of broken castle walls. He hated every second of it. Everything was just cascading in one fell swoop straight into hell. The closer he got to the Great Hall, the more chaos seemed to reign.

Where was Seokjin?

The knot in his stomach tightened more and more with every second that passed without any sign of the Hufflepuff. Surely he was just lost — it would be so easy to get turned around in this hostile mess. Namjoon just needed to look harder.

With that thought spurring him forward, the Slytherin Head Boy pushed away from the wall and dove into the active battle. He hugged the wall, weaving from cover to cover, thankful to the school cloak for blending into the shadows so well. Namjoon passed many skirmishes as he backtracked to the last place he saw Seokjin. Wizards, witches, and magical creatures on both sides of the war were running, dueling, and falling as he passed, but he couldn’t stop.

He had something much more important to do.

Even though it tugged at something inside him to turn away from the screams and yells of his fellow students, there was a creeping terror now that refused to let up, eclipsing whatever guilt might have been festering inside him.

Where was Seokjin?

He was way past the halfway point. Did Seokjin run into some trouble? Maybe he had run into more dark wizards? He was all by himself with no one there to help him. Namjoon couldn’t help mentally kicking himself for listening to his boyfriend. Splitting up was always the worst option in the movies Seokjin had forced him to sit through.

Namjoon was so occupied with his inner flagellation, he was a few steps away from running head first into a group of Death Eaters. It was only reflex built on years of dodging Yoongi’s more enthusiastic retribution, and later, Jungkook’s developing latent tendencies toward bodily threats, that saved him from the deadly mistake. Without breaking pace, he stretched out and gripped the protruding arm of a nearby statue and, using his momentum, all but swung himself behind it. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect, as one of the men in the group whirled around in his direction, just after his robe slipped from sight.

For the first time that evening, Namjoon was thankful for the noise. The distant screams and rumbles covered up the muted thump of his back slamming into the wall behind the statue, and he held his breath as the wary eyes of the Death Eater roamed the hall. Chills ran up and down his spine when he realized the man wasn’t looking away.

And when the man stepped away from the group, most of whom were crowded under an archway that separated Namjoon’s part of the hallway and the staircase he was headed toward, the young man swore he felt as though his heart was on a single-handed quest to beat its way out of his chest. He was stuck. There was nothing for him to do except tighten his grip on the wand in his hand and be ready for the worst. Hopefully, it wouldn’t come to any actual combat. He didn’t like the odds of him going at it alone with a group of Death Eaters.

_ Please, just turn around. Please, just turn around. Please, just turn around. _

The internal mantra was doing very little good. It seemed that everything was conspiring against him today. Like some twisted imitation of a metronome, with every iteration, the man took one step closer. Namjoon knew he had the advantage of darkness, but even that would do only so much good for him. If this Death Eater got any closer, the man would have to be blind and stupid to miss the Slytherin boy’s frozen figure.

Funnily enough, it was during this panic induced state of hyper-awareness that something across the hall caught his eye. It took a few moments to really comprehend the sight before him, but when it finally sunk in, it took everything he had not to slump against the statue in defeat. Because if there was anything to make a dire situation any more dire, the winner for worst possible option would definitely have to be the Undesirable Number One, Harry Fucking Potter himself. And since this was really working up to be the worst day ever, right across from Namjoon, cowering behind a set of armor, was none other than said Chosen One.

Namjoon was so fucking dead.

Just as the Head Boy was lamenting his lot in life, Potter, as if feeling Namjoon’s eyes on him, decided to notice him as well. How the fuck he missed Namjoon coming down the corridor earlier was beyond him. He had tried to take the numerous rumors flying around the school with a grain of salt, but maybe the Savior of the Wizarding World was a bit of a dunce, after all. Then again, if Taehyung were to be believed, the vehemence with which Malfoy insisted on besmirching Potter at every available opportunity was indicative of the Slytherin’s desperation for the Gryffindor to sit on his face. So, just to err on the safe side, Namjoon thought it might be best to give Potter the benefit of the doubt.

Their eyes met, and in that moment he noted how Potter’s widened, then drifted to the badge on his robe, and then widened even further when he realized which house the student was from. Namjoon quickly, but subtly, shook his head, desperately trying not to bring the attention of the Death Eater on him. He didn’t know what Potter was thinking, but he just hoped the young man didn’t do anything stupid based on whatever crazy assumptions he was working on.

Thankfully, keeping out of sight was apparently a priority for Potter as well, since it was only after a short but seemingly vicious internal debate, the Gryffindor settled back where he huddled, although still shooting Namjoon wary glances. It was a good thing he didn’t have to worry about Potter for the time being because the lone Death Eater was still creeping forward. Just a few more steps and Namjoon was out of luck. A quick glance at the boy across showed that Potter was quickly realizing the situation and was properly panicking as well. It was probably more in response to self preservation rather than any emotional investment in his well being, but just for that he felt a seed of connection with the other boy.

Nothing like imminent doom to bond over, despite prior adversity.

The man was taking his time, cautiously easing forward. This was both a blessing and a curse, since it gave Namjoon enough time to recite some of the more offensive spells in his catalog, but on the other hand, the painfully slow pace of the man’s footsteps were killing him. He was to wait for his chance; he wasn’t stupid enough to go charging into this blind. But, Merlin’s beard, he wished the man would just hurry it up and get to it. The waiting was torture.

The Death Eater’s step hissed as it grinded the debris littering the stone floor.

Namjoon gripped his wand.

Another hiss sounded as he took another step.

Across from him, Namjoon saw Potter quietly slipping his wand from his pocket.

The man’s step hissed again. Just one more step, and there would be no more hiding. Namjoon sucked in a deep breath and waited.

“Mulciber! Where are you going?”

The Death Eater, Mulciber, whirled around to face the call, just missing the hidden figure.

“I thought I heard something,” he answered, heading back to the group.

“It must have been those acromantulas.” As the other speaker stepped closer, Namjoon noted the rather flamboyant get up the second wizard was sporting. It was definitely something out of character for what Namjoon would assume was usual for Voldemort’s supporters. Who in their right mind would wear silk robes and white gloves into battle? Then again, he was a Death Eater and they didn’t really seem to value a sound state of mind as an important factor in their recruitment, so who really knew with them.

“Huh. The Dark Lord is really having those beasts fight for him? In our ranks, with us loyal servants? This is all rather demeaning if you ask me,” Mulciber grumbled as he made his way over to other speaker.  

As a whole, the wizards had migrated out after the man and his flamboyant companion, and while Namjoon and Potter were no longer at immediate risk of being seen, the entire group was far too close for comfort.

“If it makes you feel any better, I’m sure our Lord’s intent for them is simply cannon-fodder. Your honor is still intact, my dear.” The shine of the man’s robes was oddly alluring in the darkness. “Personally, I think it’s a pity. They do make such pretty silk.”

“Morgana’s tits, no one gives a shit about you and your damn silk, Pyrites! We’re on the cusp of greatness, and here you are whining about your wardrobe,” a new, gruffer voice broke into the conversation as a tall figured ambled toward the two.

“Well, Avery, some of us would like to meet greatness in something a bit more impressive than —  oh, dear, what is that? Please, tell me that isn’t troll hide. My man, I thought better of you.”

Rather than responding to the jibe, the man turned to the other member of their trio. “Mulciber, if you don’t shut him up then I will. And it will be permanent.”

With his lumbering build and gravelly tone, Namjoon couldn’t blame the rest of the wizards for quickly easing away from the three. If he could, the Slytherin would have happily headed off in the opposite direction of them as well. In fact, why couldn’t they just run off as well. He wished they were more easily intimidated and would just head off wherever they were clearly going, before Mulciber had turned the entire group around.

Once he had a closer look at them, he was one hundred percent sure this would be a hopeless confrontation if it came to it. Even with Potter’s help, they had no chance. He had done a quick count, and there were at least ten in the group. He and Seokjin had lucked out earlier with the Snatchers, and even then, their numbers were nowhere near as big as this.

In any case, Mulciber, who clearly was the leader of this motley crew, also appeared to be interested in ending this stand-off. He stepped between the two bickering men and threw a hard look at Pyrites.

“I’m going to need you to shut up until we get to the attack point,” he said, then turned to Avery, “And you need to keep a watch of that temper. We don’t have time for squabbles. The Dark Lord tasked us with this mission, and if either of you jeopardize this, I will personally see to it that neither of you will live to see his reign. Do you understand me?”

Both men silently nodded. Had the situation been different, Namjoon might have been impressed. As it was, he was just relieved they seemed to be leaving soon.

“Right now, we just need to find us our guide. The bastard better not have died before he tells us where to go.” Mulciber ran a hand through his sweaty hair.

“I knew it was a bad idea to have the whole plan hinge on one of these twerps,” Avery grumbled.

Pyrites perked up from his pout. “Wait, twerps? You don’t mean one of the students, do you? Why was I not informed of this? I hate to agree with Avery on anything, but how well can we trust a kid?”

“We’re not trusting ‘a kid,’ as you put it,” Mulciber quickly nipped the complaints at the bud before it could turn into another argument, “we’re trusting the Dark Lord. One of the Slytherins is looking to cement his place in our ranks. We just have to find him.”

Namjoon wished he was surprised, but he really wasn’t. This entire hell of a school year with Voldemort’s forces holding the administration in a stranglehold had left many students from both Dark and Light families rather disillusioned by the new regime. Even then, there were always those looking to profit themselves in the wreckage.

To make matters worse, a glance across the hall proved to be rather disheartening. He could see Potter’s eyes widen in horror and then turn to him. The Gryffindor narrowed his eyes at Namjoon suspiciously. He almost snorted in disbelief at this guy. Was he serious? Did he think that Namjoon just liked to cower behind statues on his days off? Did he think the Slytherin liked almost pissing his pants? What the actual fuck?

Unfortunately, he couldn’t verbalize any of this to Potter and was instead stuck staring back at the boy long enough to get his incredulity across. He rolled his eyes as hard as he could and tried to convey their fucked up situation and just how fucking stupid it was for him to keep up this ruse if he was the student the men were talking about.

Holy crap, maybe Draco was right about Potter being a dunce.

It was a frustrating and desperate few seconds of miming without miming, but eventually, Potter stopped looking like he was about to make a break for it and get them both killed.

Thank Merlin for small mercies.

It wasn’t a moment too soon. The Death Eaters had apparently come to some sort of decision.

“Let’s head down the stairwell. With our luck, the idiot probably thought to meet us at the entrance hall or something equally stupid,” Mulciber said.

And just like that, they all trooped out. Both students stayed in their respective hiding places until they were sure the footsteps had died away to silence, and then they gave it a few seconds more just to be sure.

Of course, with Namjoon, nothing could ever go smoothly.

He had kept his eye on Potter the entire time. The other boy had not let go of his wand; if anything, he was gripping it tighter and tighter as the footsteps died away. And as Namjoon expected, as soon as it was clear the danger had passed, Potter shot out from behind the statue faster than if he was riding a broom. But he had been ready for this and responded in kind.

Both boys were now in a stalemate in the middle of the ruined hallway, their wands outstretched and trained on the other’s face.

Potter was the first to break the silence, “What are you doing here? I thought all Slytherins were forced to evacuate.”

“I should be asking you the same thing, Potter. Don’t you have a Dark Lord to kill? Or die trying? I really don’t care to know where he might be, but I’m pretty sure you’re going to have a hard time finding him up here.”

“I’m working on it. What about you? Going off to help your buddies with their scheme,” Potter sneered back.

“Look, I don’t know what you Gryffindors get up to for a wank in your tower, but I sure as fuck don’t go looking for people who want to kill my ass to get my shits and giggles, you fucking idiot!”

“What?” Potter looked like he was still trying to muddle through what Namjoon said.

“Use your fucking brain, Potter! What part of that whole situation back there said that I wanted to have anything to do with those people?”

“Am I just supposed to take your word on it?” Although his question came across hard and borderline resentful, Potter’s wand arm was clearly loosening from the offensive stance.

Namjoon debated with himself for a second before deciding to bite the bullet, as Hoseok liked to put it. He really didn’t have the time for this, but it felt counterproductive to knock out the apparent savior of the Wizarding World and leave him to the fates. He reluctantly lowered his wand, keeping a close eye on the other boy’s arm, just in case he decided to pull something shady. Fortunately, Potter seemed to at least have a halfway functioning brain because he finally appeared to accept that, for the moment, he wasn’t in any imminent danger.

“I don’t know what to tell you, man. I really don’t have a broom in the race with this war. I mean, it’ll be nice if you hurry up and finish this shit so the rest of us could get on with our lives as well, but you know. Right now, you’re really low on things I give a shit about.”

Potter blinked owlishly. “Excuse me? What?”

“You know, Dark Lords to vanquish? Evil dictators to overthrow? Ring a bell? It’ll be nice if you hurried it up, Prophecy Boy. This whole war thing has been throwing everybody off their game. I mean, have you tried to complete your education under martial rule? No. Because you were off who the fuck knows where while the rest of us have been dealing with this shit!”

“W-wait, what? I can’t believe — this is unbelievable — you can’t just — what? Well, it hasn’t exactly been a walk in the park, you know! And what the hell are you on about? Aren’t all of you rooting for him?”

Both boys had completely forgotten their wands and were more occupied with marching up to each other’s faces to air out their indignities.

“That’s an unsurprisingly ignorant assumption, but that’s what I get for having higher expectations for The Boy Who Lived, isn’t it?”

“Don’t call me that. And I guess I should be impressed you think so highly of me in Slytherin House. Didn’t think my reputation was so great down there.”

“Don’t flatter yourself, Potter. I just meant I had assumed that the so-called Chosen One wouldn’t be so stupid as to go with the mob-mentality like the rest of these brainless imbeciles. You know what’s a rare commodity for you English Wizards? The ability to think for yourselves.”

The Gryffindor’s mouth flopped open and closed as if to make a scathing comeback but unable to form a proper response.

Namjoon took the opportunity to end this conversation before it wasted any more of his time, “Just what are you doing here? Like I said, don’t you have a Dark Lord to kill?”

“I’m kind of working on that, right now.”

“Working on what exactly? Practicing how to cower for when you face the Dark Lord?”

“Now, look here. I don’t know what your game is, but you don’t know me. I said I’m working on it, and I’m going to finish it. Happy?”

Namjoon definitely wasn’t happy. He wasn’t usually one to purposely go about antagonizing people. They had Draco for that kind of business. and one Draco was more than enough for everyone. He heaved a sigh and ran a hand over his face.

With a grunt, he tried again, making an effort not to channel that blonde shit-head in his house, “Okay, okay. This might come as a surprise, but you know what? I’m having a really shitty day. I’m trying to make it a little less shitty. So I’m just going to head off and do my thing. You keep working on what you’re working on. I’ll just get out of your hair now. How about it?”

Potter pursed his lips. If the next words out of his mouth were to start another fight, Namjoon didn’t care about the fate of the Wizarding World, he was going to curse the shit out of the guy. Surprisingly, the spectacled boy also heaved a sigh and said, “Yeah, sure. You do that.”

“Great. Good luck. I wasn’t joking when I said to hurry it up.”

With that, Namjoon headed off through the same pathway as the Death Eaters, but rather than going down the stairs, he headed up. He was getting close. The caved in hallway was only a few flights of stairs and a hallway away, and he was hoping to see Seokjin any second now.

What was taking him so long? He had practically ran three times the length of their original path to get here. Where was he?

He purposely ignored the niggling feeling of dread, momentarily forgotten in the earlier scuffle. It was now back with a vengeance. Leaving Seokjin was already quickly turning into his biggest regret.

He was so consumed by his search, it wasn’t until he had reached the top of the stairs that he realized he had an unintended tagalong.

Namjoon whirled around and was disappointed to see Potter running up after him.

“What do you want, Potter!”

The shorter boy panted slightly as he approached the irate Slytherin. “I swear I’m not following you. You’re just headed the same way.”

“Where the hell are you going?”

Potter hesitated.

Namjoon simply did not have the patience for this and all but exploded, “Oh, come on! I swear on my fucking magic I’m not trying to fucking kill you, or whatever you think!”

The Gryffindor’s eyes widened at the seriousness of the oath, but finally answered, “The Room of Requirement. There’s something in there I need to get to ‘hurry things up,’ like you like to put it.”

It felt like a punch to the chest, just the reminder of earlier events. Namjoon bit his lip to hold back the sudden wave of anxiety, like everything he had been holding back was now rushing into him, and it was just too much.

“Uh, are you alright?”

Namjoon pulled enough of his nerves together to speak, “You’re headed the wrong way, mate.”

“What are you talking about? We’re almost there.”

“The roof caved in earlier. We — my … my boyfriend and I were just here. We had a couple of the younger students with us. And, uh... we ran into some Snatchers. Some of the spells went awry and the roof came down. We were separated. I got the kids to the evacuation point, but I need to go back. He hasn’t come, yet. He said he would.”

“I’m sorry.”

Namjoon took a deep breath. Now was not the time to freak out. He can do that later when he had Seokjin safely in his arms. “I just need to find him. And you need to take the stairs past the Great Hall.”

“I — uh — thanks, I guess. Do you need any —”

“I got it. Go do what you need to do, and quit wasting time.”

“Alright, alright.” Potter turned and was heading back down the stairs when he called back, “Hey, good luck to you, too! I’m sure he’s fine — your boyfriend, I mean. I bet he’ll be real glad to see you.”

Namjoon watched the other boy make his way down the steps. For what it’s worth, Namjoon was pretty sure that the guy’s heart was in the right place. Maybe there was hope after all. The Head Boy did wish him the best of luck: he was definitely going to need it.

Then, in the silence of the stairwell, with no one else to distract him, Namjoon felt the resurgence of the haunting feeling he had not been able to shake since he’d all but shoved the kids through the portrait in the Room of Requirement. The only way to describe it was that it felt like a cavernous maw opening up inside him, and all he could be sure of was that he needed to see Seokjin, and he needed to see him soon.


	5. Namjoon Part II

Namjoon quickened his pace and he climbed the next few flights. The higher he ascended the faster he walked, and by the time he reached the familiar corridor, Namjoon was all but sprinting.

His footsteps slapped against the stone floor. In the silence of the hall, with the sounds of battle so far away, each impact echoed like a thunder clap in the empty expanse of the space. Namjoon was being careless, but at this point, he didn’t know what to think. He had a sickening sense of deja vu. Once again he was running down the same hall, only this time, he was alone, and whereas before, the danger seemed to be a pervasive presence, surrounding them and closing in, now, there was only danger in the urgency.

The ridiculous thing was, and he hated to admit it to himself, the closer he got to the place where they had run into the Snatchers, the more he began to hope he wouldn’t be seeing Seokjin there. So much time had passed. Why would Seokjin be there? Surely, he must have missed him; surely they must have passed each other accidentally in the midst of the battles downstairs… Surely.

Namjoon’s heart hammered in his chest. More so from the mounting dread than the physical exertion.

Then, he rounded the last corner, and the first thing he noticed was the overwhelming stench of blood that assaulted his nose. He barely slowed his pace in spite of this, and as a result almost slipped and fell as he skidded over the enormous puddle. After a vicious struggle against gravity to remain upright, Namjoon got his bearings and realized that the puddle was oozing out from the remains of the man crushed under the broken pieces of a statue. He quickly looked away. That was not an image he wanted etched in his memory, no matter how futile his effort was.

Glancing to his right, he immediately recognized the headless corpse of the first man Seokjin killed in the earlier fight.

He fought down the rising panic.

Where was Seokjin?

Stumbling around and having to pretty much climb over some of the fallen chunks of the ceiling, Namjoon was just about to breathe a sigh of relief that maybe Seokjin did leave already, when a patch of white, half hidden behind some bigger pieces of broken castle walls, caught his eye.

It was Seokjin’s uniform.

His breath caught.

Namjoon’s heart leapt into his throat as he made his way over, and there in front of him, was Seokjin, huddled up against the barrier of fallen ceiling and broken walls.

“Jin-ah!” He took off running toward the figure. “God damn it, Jin! I fucking knew it! I knew something was wrong, fuck! You show me right now where the hell you’re hurt and let me —”

He broke off.

Seokjin’s shirt was lifted slightly, and as he approached, Namjoon could see the blackened skin of his abdomen.

Seokjin didn’t move as he approached.

Seokjin didn’t move.

Seokjin didn’t —

Namjoon knelt down beside the figure. Seokjin’s head was leaning against stones, tilted away from him.

“Jinnie,” he whispered, “Jinnie, come on, I came back.”

Gently, he took him by his shoulders and eased him away from the stones and into his arms. He refused to look at the mess of his stomach as Seokjin’s head lolled listlessly onto his shoulders.

“Oh.” The soft breath of surprise escaped his lips, as he was unable to say or do anything else.

Namjoon’s eyes were glued to the stones. He was so afraid. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look.

He just rubbed Seokjin’s shoulder and rocked the both of them in the darkness.  

Still not looking but pressing his cheek against his love’s hair, Namjoon nuzzled his head and murmured, “It’s okay, Jinnie. It’s okay. I understand. I know, okay? I’m so stupid sometimes, I’m so sorry. But, it’s okay.”

At the last words, he pressed his lips to the other boy’s forehead, still murmuring ‘it’s okay’ over and over again.

The rocking continued. He didn’t know how long he sat, cradling the body of his friend and his love as his world crumbled silently around him. Namjoon was vaguely aware he must have been crying: his eyes were wet, so were his cheeks, and Seokjin’s hair under his chin. It was too bad; Jinnie would have hated this. He would have hated everything about this, but there wasn’t much else Namjoon could do.

What was he supposed to do?

What was the point?

It was all for nothing. The last seven years of his life amounted to nothing, now. He fought so hard to come here, demanded it, forced his family’s hand. And when push came to shove, he’d walked away from everything he knew for the sake of his goals.

But what did any of that matter now?

Didn’t his father say he would regret his decision? Didn’t he say they weren’t worth it, his friends and all the people he had met here? He’d claimed to have made allowance with Yoongi because the boy was of decent upbringing and at least shared their blood. But what good were these foreigners who had no concept of their heritage? They were no good for him, especially his school liaison. There was no future for him there; it would all end in heartbreak.

Namjoon hated to admit it, but his father did have a point.

It did end in heartbreak.

He just didn’t think the old man had this in mind.

However, here was one thing the Kim patriarch had completely wrong.

Namjoon, even in the broken and dusty hallway, even nursing the gutted, gnawing emptiness of grief, could not work up the ability to regret. Because no matter the outcome, Namjoon couldn’t fathom how any existence without his friends, without Seokjin, could have been in any way better.

They were worth it.

Seokjin was worth it.

He just wished he was worth it for them in turn.

“Jin-ah,” he whispered, gripping tighter to the body in his arms, “I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry, but I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do, now. I don’t —”

He broke off, unable to push past the choking tightness of his throat.

He knew he should go. It was pointless to stay. There was nothing here. There was nothing here anymore.

But he just couldn’t bring himself to leave Seokjin. He’d already left him once.

He couldn’t bring himself to do it, again.

How many times had he walked away from the people he loved?

As his family could attest, too many times.

It was funny how in a moment like this, Namjoon could practically hear his father raging at him for being so weak. It seemed appropriate, though. His father did always end up being right more often than he was wrong.

And maybe his father was right about him after all. Maybe the man did raise an idealistic fool.

The Kim Patriarch had made it abundantly clear what he thought of his son. What was the last thing his father said before Namjoon left?

_ “Stand up this instant, Namjoon!” _

_ It was a long time coming, this confrontation. With every passing year since Namjoon had started attending Hogwarts, the tension between his father and him had been growing. Perhaps it was because of how similar they were in some respects, both were too mulishly bullheaded to be swayed once they’d formed an opinion, and neither were very good with expressing their frustrations to one another. Usually, it would have been so easy to confide in his mother, but in Namjoon’s case, he couldn’t even be sure what her position was and didn’t want to risk alienating another parental figure. _

_ In any case, Namjoon could only guess that his father had hoped that his son would give up on his wanderlust, or whatever it was he thought had driven Namjoon to demand a foreign education. While it was popular, particularly among the  _ Yangban _ to encourage some experience abroad before apprenticing in their family’s area of expertise, the Kim Patriarch was never of the opinion that this form of education could have any real benefit for his Heir. _

_ They had always been a prominent family in the Hall of Records and Legislation, a key sector of government that dealt specifically in reviewing historical heritage and law in order to provide informed advice in the political spheres. He made it very clear that he didn’t see how going halfway across the world would help Namjoon in his future role as advisor. _

_ It was an ongoing joke among the Kim family and their branch families, how proud the Patriarch was of his son’s intelligence. The boy had always learned quickly and took to books like a jangjamari to water. The perfect future candidate to take his father’s place. _

_ As far was he was concerned, Hogwarts was a passing fancy for the boy. _

_ Too bad his father never took into consideration that Namjoon wanted nothing to do with it. _

_ The Kim Patriarch had hoped his son would give up on foreign schooling when it became apparent that there was nothing they could provide that would prepare him for the Halls, but Namjoon hadn’t been looking to prepare for the Halls. _

_ His passion had always been the realm of spellwork and the intricacies of creating new spells. He had been so lucky to find a kindred spirit in Yoongi. Whatever his prickly exterior would indicate, Yoongi was in fact extremely empathetic to the tunes of magic and could work things out purely on instinct. Where Namjoon saw everything in logic, straight lines, and patterns, Yoongi felt it in waves and colors and sounds. _

_ They could do great things together, if their time and status would allow. Unfortunately, here, they couldn’t. _

_ This was his reason for choosing Hogwarts. This was his chance to get far enough away from his father’s influence to properly dive in and study what he loved. _

_ Of course, it was only a matter of time before his father figured things out. _

_ In fact, Namjoon had been surprised at how long it had taken for his father to fully grasp the situation. _

_ The subsequent fight had been epic. It had only taken a few short minutes before everything descended into screams and regrettable words being traded back and forth. His mother had ushered his younger sister out of the room before things got too intense. Neither of them had returned. _

_ At the start of it all, Namjoon had been prepared, somewhat, for his father’s disapproval. He had hoped the older man wouldn’t have found out for another year, when his and Yoongi’s project was more finalized, when he could show his father what they had made together. Still, he had been lining up his counter arguments for his education. _

_ What he had not been prepared for was the attack on his friends. _

_ The beration started out predictably, enough. _

_ “When I allowed you the freedom to choose your academic path, I had hoped that my son and heir would have both the respect and common decency to observe our traditions. I had hoped to see you at Chuseok, but you did not come. I let that go. Youth is full of excitement, and mistakes were bound to be made. I had hoped that my son would have the maturity to balance both his  _ interests _ and his duty, but I find that my expectations need to be lowered.” _

_ “Father, I already apologized to you in my letter. You have to understand, the OWLs are an important determining factor in our future success, and I required the extra time to study for them.” _

_ “I was not finished, son. I appreciate the dedication you exhibit in all aspects of your endeavors, but I cannot stress enough the importance of family and tradition. I let Chuseok pass, but when Seollal came and went without your presence as well, I had to wonder, Namjoon, whether you even remember this family at all.” _

_ “It’s not like that, father  _ — _ ” _

_ “Not like what, Namjoon? Tell me how it is because, from where I’m standing, it doesn’t seem like you’re taking your duties to this family and our name very seriously. How do you expect to uphold our position in the Halls, Namjoon? We are not like those wizards in the West. Unlike them, we know not to turn magic into a crutch; we respect it, we do not abuse it, and we do  _ not _ expect it to solve all our problems. Unlike them, Namjoon, we do not let magic replace our brains and our hearts.” _

_ “Father…” _

_ “Don’t you see? Already, these frivolous studies have wasted so much of your time, your potential. Do you not see the effect it has on you? Sometimes, when I go to welcome you home, I go in fear that the child who returns to me will not be one I recognize.” _

_ The words lingered heavily in the air. _

_ Namjoon had to admit that sentence struck him in a way that he was not prepared for, but he was determined. _

_ He took a deep breath, letting the silence echo for a bit as he chose his words carefully, “Maybe that’s where you’re wrong, father. Maybe it’ll be better if you stop fearing for that child, and instead look for the man that child could be?” _

_ His father was silent. _

_ Quickly so as not to lose his nerves, Namjoon took the opportunity to continue, while at the same time refusing to look his father in the eye. “I need to do this. You are the one who taught me to believe in my own convictions, to find my own truths. Could you really tell me you would rather I give up on my aspirations? Could you really look at me and still take pride in calling me your son?” _

_ “Rather that I have a failure for a son than a traitor!” _

_ “And how have I betrayed anyone? By choosing my own path? By trying to better myself and trying to make a positive impact, however small, on the world?” _

_ “Well, look at this boy, my child! I see, now, clearly I am the one in the wrong. Improve the world, you say?” Sarcasm dripped from every word the man spoke, and just as abruptly, he exploded, “Never have I heard such arrogance and conceit under my roof! Is this what they teach you at your Hogwarts? What fool are you to have these lofty claims? Do you hear yourself, Namjoon-ah! You aim for dreams and forget reality!” _

_ “If everyone thought like you, we would still be grounding roots and burning incense to the gods for magic!” _

_ “You —” _

_ “Have you thought of the possibility that it’s not me who dreams too big, father, but you who dreams too small?” _

_ The man’s eyes bulged in barely suppressed rage. Namjoon had never had to fear his father’s wrath taking physical manifestation before this point, but he would be lying if he said the thought hadn’t crossed his mind in that moment, looking at the boiling fire behind his father’s eyes. _

_ “So this is what your so called education has given you? The gall to speak in such manner to your own father?” _

_ “No. I never had to leave to learn that.” _

_ “How dare you  _ — _ ” _

_ By now, Namjoon was also yelling, “You can’t preach righteousness, integrity, and contingency in one breath, then turn around and demand absolute obedience in another!” _

_ “I am the head of this family, and I will demand obedience however I please! You are my son, and you  _ will _ listen! No, I will take the blame here. I should have known this Hogwarts business was no good from the start. It was my fault for trying to appease your childish whims. Well, this stops now. I will not have you leaving home for this nonsense any longer.” _

_ “Father!” _

_ “I have spoken, Namjoon. If have any respect for your filial obligations, you will listen. I am doing this for your own good, son.” _

_ A heavy silence settled over the room, and everything froze under the weight of it. Stern confidence burned in the Kim Patriarch’s eyes as they bore into Namjoon’s own wide open ones. But that fire ebbed swiftly, when slowly and ever so carefully, Namjoon lowered himself to kneel before his father. _

_ The man couldn’t hide the slight shaking in his voice when he asked, “What are you doing, Namjoon?” _

_ “Father, please. I’m begging you not to ask that of me. Please don’t make me choose.” _

_ “What are you saying?” _

_ Despite being trained his entire life to hold a gaze, Namjoon had never had a harder time adhering to those lessons than he did now. Still, he persevered. He owed his father that much respect. Even though they had their many differences, and by now, Namjoon had accepted that they may never see eye to eye on the most important of things, he still loved his father; he still admired him. _

_ But in this matter, he couldn’t back down. _

_ All he could do was look into the man’s eyes while he broke his heart. _

_ “Please, I’m begging you not to make me choose because you will not like my answer.” _

_ His father took a wavering step back, as if Namjoon’s very words had struck him. Almost of its own volition, the man’s hand reached out blindly to steady him and landed heavily on a nearby shelf full of priceless glass and vases on display. The man’s face did not show much expression beyond the widening of his eyes, but Namjoon could only assume what was going through the man’s head as he stared at this son. What could the man have possibly inferred by reading between the lines of what was said? _

_ Whatever it was, the boy was pretty confident that it would not be anything close to what he actually meant. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to unhold his family name; it wasn’t that he saw no value in the ideas of the East. It was just that he saw more, and wanted more, than what his home could provide. He wanted to achieve greatness, for his home and his name, but in his own way, by his own path. _

_ Something which his father clearly did not, would not… or perhaps  _ could _ not understand. _

_ Namjoon knew this. He knew this going into this conversation. There was no way they were going to see eye to eye on the issue. _

_ Still, it didn’t stop the flinch when a vase shattered by his side, mere inches from where he knelt. He vaguely recognized the jagged pieces as the remains of a jade vase dating back to the late Goryeo dynasty. _

_ He sure hoped his father had the state of mind to spell that back together before leaving the room.  _

_ It would be such a waste to leave something so precious broken over such an avoidable situation. _

_ When the man spoke again, his voice was a heavy hiss Namjoon couldn’t help but compare to what he assumed an angry basilisk must sound like, “Well, have we a look here. My son, my child, look at how I have raised you. Look at the labors of my years spent on teaching you, guiding you… wasted. Namjoon-ah, there are many regrets I may have expected to have in this life, but let me tell you, I had not expected that one day one of those regrets would be siring you.” _

_ Oh, well that one burned something vicious. Too bad that by this point, Namjoon was boiling too much to take it lying down. “You always told me to be exceptional. You shouldn’t be too shocked that I’ve become an exceptional disappointment.” _

_ Namjoon didn’t really blame the man for exploding. _

_ “You ungrateful, selfish child!” It felt like the entire room trembled under the sheer volume of that scream. “Stand up this instant, Namjoon! Look me in the eye when you tell you want to abandon this family.” _

_ “I said no such thing! This is the problem with you. You only hear what you want to hear,” Namjoon cut in, finding it more and more difficult to keep his tongue as their arguments degraded. _

_ “If only that were the case, I would not have to listen to my son spout this nonsense under my roof. I can hear just fine, Namjoon, and what I’m hearing is disobedience and disrespect!” _

_ “How can I respect what is clearly willful ignorance!” _

_ “How dare you say that to me? This, this right here, is the result of your mingling with those lesser sorts. This is what I get for letting you fraternize with those low-born, half-breeds!” _

_ “What?” _

_ And this was where the train derailed completely. Namjoon could understand the fear of the unknown, he could understand how his father could refuse his alternative education, but this here was completely irrational, and vile, and something he had never thought to associate with his father. _

_ “We are  _ Yangban _ , our heritage is that of phoenixes. Our spirit is that of the tiger. And here you are allowing yourself to be taken in and dragged down to the level of those dogs you call friends? You are not them, you will never be them. They won’t and can’t understand you. They are not worth it!” _

_ “I can’t believe these are the words coming out of your mouth.” _

_ “You need to hear this, son. It’s for your own good.” His father breathed a heavy sigh. “Whatever you may feel, whatever you think they may feel, they cannot understand what it is to be one of us. There is no future there for you.” _

_ Namjoon was shocked silent. He remained where he knelt, staring, and maybe seeing his father for the first time. _

_ “Now,” the man continued, tone finally calming for the first time that evening, “I am a reasonable man. We can forget this conversation ever happened. But you need to wake up and face reality, Namjoon. The time for play is over, and you need to start looking at the rest of your life. All I am asking for is that you stay. I have some pull, so it will not be difficult to find you a spot at a more reputable institution. And I want you to stop this nonsense; those friends of yours from that  _ place _ are clearly no good influence. Oh, and immediately terminate your liaison with that  _ Chungin  _ mixbreed. There was no way that match could have worked in any universe.” _

_ For a moment, time seemed frozen with only the echoes of his father’s speech flowing through his mind. Namjoon tried to form something, anything, to respond, but there was nothing, just a wide gaping chasm of coldness where once was the last meager childhood faith in a parent’s infallibility. _

_ Then, Namjoon stood and crossed the space between the two. His foot crushed a piece of vase, grinding it into the marble floor as he stepped forward to stand in front of his father. _

_ Rather than saying anything, he pulled the man into a tight embrace which the man fell into willingly. _

_ “Namjoon-ah.” The man heaved a sigh of relief. “You might curse me for my harsh words, but I do this for you. This, my heart, my home, what I do, it’s for you, for our family. I love you, son.” _

_ It was funny. They were the same height, Namjoon and his father. This was the first time he’d noticed. _

_ “I know,” he whispered, chin resting on his father’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.” _

_ The man froze when the words finally settled. _

_ Namjoon pulled away and looked at his father, eyes leveled. _

_ “I’m sorry.” _

_ “Namjoon, what  _ — _ ” _

_ “If you really feel that strongly about this, I am sorry to be such a disappointment.” _

_ His father face was an odd mixture of placid heartbreak and indignant anger as Namjoon backed away. _

_ “You don’t have to see this ungrateful son again.” Namjoon gave the man a bow before adding a final, “Good-bye, father.” _

_ He turned and walked out the room. Silence hung heavy behind him. _

_ Namjoon gave the broken vase a final passing thought, wondering if there was enough left to even repair. _

_ When he arrived back at his room, fully intending on packing his things, he was shocked to see both his mother and sister already there. Beside his bed, his school trunk was open, and both women were carefully and lovingly folding his things to add to its contents. They looked up as he entered. _

_ For a moment, the world was suspended on a breath. _

_ And just as quickly, the moment passed. _

_ Namjoon quietly joined in on the preparations. _

_ The entire affair was eerily silent. But really what could be said? When there was nothing else to do, Namjoon tossed on his outer long jacket, and was struck with a strange sense of nostalgia when he remembered his mother had hemmed this very jeogori last summer. A strange sense of awkwardness, not unlike what he’d felt as a much younger child facing his mother after he’d broken her prized hair pin, weighed heavily on his shoulders as he turned to face the two most important women in his life. _

_ He had originally planned to pack and quietly head off to Yoongi’s to inform him of the recent developments before trying to get in contact with Seokjin. _

_ Now, being faced with the other people directly affected by his decision, he was left floundering on how to explain himself. _

_ Instead of waiting for her son to come to his senses, the Kim Matriarch stepped forward and took the jeogori from his hands, motioning for Namjoon to hold out his arms for her to put the jacket on him. _

_ As she adjusted his collar and tied the jacket shut, she finally asked, “Are you sure in what you’re doing?” _

_ He held her gazed and answered, “I am.” _

_ “Then you have my blessing.” _

And what a blessing it was. Namjoon hadn’t fully appreciated just how much his mother was risking with the words she uttered that day. For her, it wasn’t just a matter of letting go of her son, but she had also put her standing in the family at risk by challenging his father; her name, her face, and her legacy were set aside for the sake of her fool of a son.

He had been so arrogant.

He had been so confident he could change his father’s outlook through his research, his project. He had been so sure he could negate his mother’s worries by proving to her that she had indeed raised a son worth taking pride in. And most of all, he had been looking forward to the day when he could show Seokjin that choosing Namjoon had been the right choice.

How quickly things changed.

For all his intelligence, it was funny how often Namjoon ended up making such horrible mistakes. The first was buying into his father’s ideals of lineage and how they reflected the quality of a person. Thankfully, this was a short-lived phase which Yoongi, metaphorically and physically, kicked out of him. The second was taking Yoongi’s friendship for granted. The third was for doubting the quality of the friendship he had the luck of tumbling into. Thankfully, Seokjin had been there to help him fix those kinds of mistakes before they could lead into anything truly horrendous.

Seokjin had been there.

He thought he’d grown up enough to know better. He wasn’t perfect; he knew that, but he had thought that at the very least, he was beyond failing those close to him to this extent. He should have known better. He should have known. It wasn’t like he hadn’t noticed. He had.

He had.

Why didn’t he do something, then?

He had known something was wrong, otherwise he wouldn’t have had that niggling sense of unease. If he hadn’t known, why would the black pit of fear not settle in the entirety of their time apart?

He didn’t even say a proper good-bye.

He hadn’t even given Seokjin that.

Namjoon had thought he had grown out of this, that he was beyond taking things for granted.

It was funny how he forgot not to take time for granted as well.

Panic rose inside him. For the first time in so long, Namjoon was utterly lost. Because what was he supposed to do, now? How was he supposed to fix this?

This wasn’t a Taehyung-induced disaster to be cleaned up before a professor could actually wander in on it.

This wasn’t a first-year Jungkook’s weekly nightmare to be comforted away in the blue stillness of the night.

This wasn’t even a heart-wrenchingly perplexed Yoongi needing his own value explained to him at length so that Yoongi could find enough strength to finally start pursuing what made Yoongi happy.

No.

This was Seokjin.

This was the loud and present reality of the gaping chasm in his life that would be all he had of Seokjin.

And there wasn’t a damn thing he could do about it.

There was nothing.

Worst of all, Namjoon was too much of a coward to look. If he kept on holding Seokjin, if he just kept Seokjin in his arms and kept breathing in the mix of Seokjin’s earthy soap and the stale scent from the dusting of broken stones in his hair, then he wouldn’t have to accept just how temporary this was. It was silent here. Everything from the shouts of spells, the fighting and destruction, to the sounds of spells streaking through the air, were all muffled here. This was a reprieve.

Time was frozen here.

With the still warm weight of Seokjin in his arm, this was a reprieve.

“Please, please, please, Seokjin. Just this once, just this once, I won’t ever ask for anything else ever again. Just please, please, please don’t be gone, Jinnie. Please, don’t be gone.”

Namjoon’s whispers were muffled in the other boy’s hair.

“Please, for me; I don’t know what to do. I don’t know. I need you. I need you to tell me what to do.”

There was always a restart, a save point, in the games they played. And he would give anything in the world to have one now; because everything inside him rejected even the thought of the reality in front of him. He couldn’t accept it.

Hope was ridiculous, but he clung onto it as tightly was he did Seokjin. The alternative was too painful.

“Please…”

He hated hope.

“Please…”

And in the alcove of the broken hallway, Namjoon sobbed as he was forced to let hope go.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I can't write happy. 
> 
> Tiny Spoiler: The next chapter should be a teeny bit 'happier'? You see more Jin? More of the gang-gang?


	6. Namjoon Part III

_ “Come on! Please, Jinnie! It’s for a good cause.”  _

_ “No! It’s embarrassing. Go ask someone else. Jimin never shuts up in the shower. How about you go ask him?” _

_ “But, hyung,” Namjoon dragged out the ‘hyung’ in the whiniest tone imaginable, “it can’t be anyone else. You’re the music to my heart, the muse to my poetry, the  _ — _ ” _

_ At this point, Seokjin slapped his hand over Namjoon’s mouth to stop the stream of drivel. Namjoon could tell that this whole thing was unbearably embarrassing for the other boy, but he knew him well enough to know that Seokjin found it as flattering as it was embarrassing, and this gave him all the free pass he needed to be a little shit-head. _

_ The Hufflepuff was obviously already beside himself with the cute act Namjoon had been pulling all morning. In fact, he had claimed that the Slytherin had no right to be as offensively cute as he was right then. That wasn’t going to stop him from milking it to the best of his ability. He had faith in the power of his own smile to do the deed. _

_ Namjoon was sure that Seokjin’s exact words were something like, “Using your dimply wiles to woo me won’t get you anywhere, Namjoon. I’ve got Jimin for a housemate!” _

_ To which Namjoon had simply responded by beaming aggressively in the other boy’s direction while poking at his own cheek. _

_ It was well worth getting kicked through the curtains of his own bed. They were lounging in the Sixth Year Slytherin dormitory for some peace and quiet away from ‘the kids.’ _

_ Namjoon was taking advantage of the other Sixth Year Slytherin’s preoccupation with whatever no good scheme they were up to; he thought about asking when Draco stumbled back to the room looking way too harried one too many times, but after six years together, it was really in his own best interest to keep away. No good ever came from involving oneself in the business of the Malfoys, because surely this was something beyond just schoolyard stupidity if Draco was losing this much sleep over it. _

_ In any case, staying out of the drama was working in Namjoon’s favor, since weekends in the boys’ dormitory were now much quieter, and dragging his boyfriend in for some afternoon cuddles was much less of a hassle. After the fiasco of their first year, most of the sixth year Slytherins gave Yoongi, and subsequently Seokjin, wide berth. For the most part, the boys in the house liked to pretend the two didn’t exist. _

_ This was fine by Yoongi, since years in Hufflepuff had done little to increase his tolerance for bullshit. _

_ Seokjin, on the other hand, had actually made an effort to approach some of Namjoon’s housemates when the two of them officially became an item. In retrospect, given his predisposition towards offensively lame puns but also the intensity with which he found them hilarious, and given what the Slytherins knew of him, namely his rather questionable preferences in friends, it was no surprise that the majority of the Snakes found him all the more suspicious. Not that they said this to his face. _

_ Namjoon had lost count of how many times he had purposely set his boyfriend on his unsuspecting housemates for the simple, sick pleasure of watching them warily smile at Seokjin after he snuck up on them to tell one of his jokes. The foreign wizard took particular enjoyment in seeing them jump, ever so slightly, when Seokjin would quietly whisper the pun and immediately break out into a wild laughing fit, clapping hands and squeaky, wheezing laugh and all. _

_ Best of all, as far as Seokjin was concerned, he was a hit with House Slytherin. _

_ Namjoon wasn’t about to correct him on the matter. _

_ So on one hand, while it was never much of an issue for Namjoon to bring the Hufflepuff into the Slytherin common room, and while it was fun to watch his housemates squirm, it was also nice to have the place to themselves. Which was why Namjoon figured the comfort of the afternoon cuddle would soften Seokjin enough to get him to agree to help him. _

_ Yoongi and Namjoon were finally making some progress on their spell project. Considering the spell was a combination of emotion-based spellwork, much like the  _ Patronus _ , and environmental quality change, which probably could classify it as a Charm, there was a lot of extra effort needed to even start the cast. Much like the  _ Patronus  _ it required a certain level of emotional potency to initiate, but unlike that particular spell - and factoring in the size of the area generally affected and the wandless nature of it - strong magical core control was also necessary for a successful cast. Too little magic did nothing and too much meant volatile, and often destructive, results. _

_ Practice was desperately needed. Unfortunately, Namjoon was often stuck trying to find the right emotional push. It was one thing when it was an established spell and the parameters of what was necessary were clearly defined, but it was a whole other ball game when you were semi-blindly floundering for the right components yourself. _

_ It was really a happy accident that Seokjin happened to be humming a little tune while Namjoon was working on the spell a few days earlier. The Slytherin assumed that the other boy had been bored but was keeping him company out of some sense of boyfriend obligation; whatever the case, Namjoon had glanced over and saw the Hufflepuff mouthing the song distractedly while flipping through his Arithmancy textbook, and suddenly, there was an overwhelming sense of  _ something. _ Appreciation? Warmth? _

_ Whatever it was, that day had been his first successful casting. _

_ Previously, only Yoongi had managed it, despite Namjoon’s equal contributions to the research. Hell, he was probably the one who first had the idea, thanks to a book he had borrowed from Ken one Christmas. Somehow the two of them had gotten onto the topic of music, and the other boy had been adamant that there was nothing stronger than the power of music. _

_ “It’s like magic. All it takes is one song to change your whole mindset, ya know?” And with these words, Ken had given Namjoon the spark of an idea. _

_ He didn’t necessarily agree with the muggle boy, but there was some truth to the power of sound, and Namjoon was also tempted by the lack of study on the topic in the magical community. He ran the idea by Yoongi, and a few years down the line, they also had something solid. _

_ Now, if only that stubborn, beautiful lump on his bed would cooperate. _

_ “You know, in some cultures, it’s frowned upon to attack your unarmed and helpless boyfriend. You’ve wounded me, hyung. And I demand retribution.” _

_ From what he could make of Seokjin, the Hufflepuff had simply scoffed and pulled the blankets tighter around himself before responding, “Oh, please, Joonie. If you’re still running your mouth, I would hardly call you helpless. Also, you deserved it.” _

_ When it was apparent that this was all he had to say on the topic, and it didn’t look like he was planning on moving anytime soon, Namjoon scooted over until he was sitting beside the bed and leaned on the mattress, arms crossed and supporting his chin as he stared at his darling lump. He knew Seokjin too well. _

_ Of course, it was only a few seconds later when he took a pillow to the head. _

_ At least, Seokjin was finally sitting up. _

_ “Stop it, Namjoon! I said no! I’m not going to sing for you. It’s embarrassing and lame and stupid, and you’re stupid for even thinking I was going to say yes.” He glared in Namjoon’s direction and narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “You better have not invited me here for just that because I  _ will _ set Yoongi on you. He likes me better.” _

_ “Seokjin, you can’t set my best friend on me like that. It’s not how things work.” _

_ “It is when you’re being a dumbass, again. I don’t even have to give him a reason. ‘Namjoon is being stupid’ is all I need to say. It’s a distressingly common occurrence most days.” _

_ “Shush, you. I’m a genius, and you know it.” _

_ “Yeah, yeah. And you got the paperwork to prove it. I’ve heard it a thousand times. But it still doesn’t change the fact that this genius is going to have find himself another volunteer because I’m not doing it!” _

_ Namjoon pouted at Seokjin, eyes masterfully sad, not quite watering but definitely glistening a bit more than usual. He may or may not have sat Hoseok down and asked for lessons. If anyone had ever mastered the art of convincing their unwilling boyfriend into going along with their dumb shenanigans, it was Hoseok. He had considered asking Jimin, but he was well aware of his own limitations, and there was no way he would be able to channel a Jimin-level pout. _

_ The lessons had clearly paid off. He had to fight the gloat that was threatening to come out as he watched Seokjin’s resolve crumble. _

_ “Damn it, Namjoon!” Seokjin finally burst. Flinging the blanket to the side, he sprang forward and proceeded to smoosh Namjoon’s face between his palms until Namjoon’s mouth puckered. “Don’t you think for one second I don’t know what you’re doing!” _

_ “Is it working, though?” Namjoon asked, voice muffled by Seokjin’s over-enthusiastic caress. _

_ “Shut up,” he practically growled back at Namjoon before planting a quick peck on the Slytherin’s nose. “I still don’t see why you couldn’t just ask Jimin. You know he actually likes warbling around the dormitory. Or you could even ask Jungkook for that matter. He’s in your house.” _

_ “Is that a yes?” Namjoon tugged Seokjin’s hands down and held them between his own. “I’m taking that as a yes.” _

_ And, okay, Namjoon knew most people considered their significant others attractive, but Seokjin’s little huff and smile as he looked down on him was something worthy of being immortalized and cherished forever  _ —  _ more so than the most valuable of masterpieces. This Namjoon believed wholeheartedly. Unfortunately, he wasn’t very gifted in the arts, so no one would see this but him. _

_ It would be a lie to say he wasn’t selfish. _

_ He was so lucky to have this. _

_ Why was this so hard for some people to understand? _

_ “Thank you!” Namjoon wasn’t just talking about the project, but he didn’t think he could really express everything he wanted to thank Seokjin for. And rather than tugging his boyfriend off to practice like he originally intended, he found himself tackling the Hufflepuff back onto the bed and wrapping himself around Seokjin like a limpet. _

_ “Namjoon!” _

_ Namjoon ignored the yelp and just pressed his face into the crook of the other boy’s neck. Breathing in deeply, he whispered, “I love you, you know that, right?” _

_ He felt Seokjin still his struggles. He wasn’t usually one for outright saying the ‘L’ word, but he couldn’t help but feel the need to say it now. Ignoring the heat in his face at the outburst, he continued to cling to the older boy while shoving his face further into his boyfriend’s side. It wasn’t hiding if it could be considered cuddling. _

_ After a short moment of what he could only assume was confusion on Seokjin’s part, he reluctantly loosened his hold on the other boy long enough for Seokjin to get one arm out to slide under Namjoon’s head. Familiar fingers gently massaged the back of his neck, and Namjoon let out a breath, enjoying the ministration. _

_ “If I knew this was how you were going to be like, I would have agreed to this whole singing business earlier.” The warm heat of Seokjin’s breath brushed against the top of Namjoon’s head as he spoke. “And for the record, love you, too, you cheese ball.” _

_ It wasn’t that he didn’t know, but it was still nice to hear. Namjoon huffed a laugh and proceeded to pull Seokjin closer. The hand on the back of his neck never stopped the gentle motion. _

_ “Joonie,” Seokjin’s voice broke the comfortable silence, “what’s the matter?” _

_ “It’s stupid.” _

_ “Well, that’s nothing new, so you might as well tell me.” _

_ “Real sweet of you.” _

_ “It is, isn’t it? Now, quit stalling and spill.” _

_ “It’s really nothing. I’m just really happy being here — with you.” _

_ “Namjoon, if that was all there was, I would be happy to let you hug me to your heart’s content, because I definitely deserve cuddles, but I’ve known you for how long, now? And if you were really all that happy, you would be dragging me off to who knows where for that little magic project of yours.” _

_ Namjoon lifted his head and gave Seokjin a worried stare. “Am I really that shit of a boyfriend?” _

_ “You have your moments,” Seokjin replied and patted his head firmly until he settled back on the Hufflepuff’s shoulders. “But it’s okay. I fully intend on being a trophy husband, and I’m going to need me a rich bitch to maintain my lifestyle.” _

_ “Who are you calling a bitch?” _

_ “You’re always my bitch, Joonie. Live with it. Now are you going to tell me what’s bothering you are or am I going to have to start tickling?” _

_ “Don’t you dare!” _

_ “Try me.” _

_ Namjoon blew a raspberry on Seokjin’s cheek in retaliation before finally giving in. _

_ “I just wished that it didn’t have to be like this. I wished my dad wasn’t so blind. I wished he could be happy for me. And I just wish he could see you the way I do.” He had meant to be a bit more coherent, but the moment the first words left his mouth, the rest followed in a massive floodgate, growing in intensity with every sentence. _

_ “Oh, Joonie.” _

_ “Don’t worry about it, hyung. I know it’s stupid of me to keep looking back on things I can’t change.” _

_ “I don’t think it’s stupid to miss your family.” _

_ “Who said anything about missing anyone?” _

_ “Bullheadedness never looks good on anyone, especially you. You shouldn’t worry, though. I’m sure everything will clear up sooner or later. I mean, your dad still hasn’t removed you from your family’s inheritance, so I don’t think he’s going to be mad at you forever. You just focus on this spell you and Yoongi have been working on. Then take it and shove it in your dad’s face. No way he’s going to bitch about any of this after he sees what you’ve accomplished.” _

_ “Well, it’s great one of us is an optimist.” _

_ “Someone has to be. You worry too much, Namjoon.” _

_ “How are you so relaxed all the time? I don’t know how you do it.” _

_ “Oh, I worry plenty. I also just realize that it does nothing but cause wrinkles, and I’m going to need this face to last me.” _

_ “What do you mean by that?” _

_ “I’ve got to keep my rich bitch’s eyes on me, don’t I?” _

_ “Oh, shut up. I promise I’ll still love you when you’re saggy and fat.” _

_ “Shut the fuck up. That’s not happening. Ever.” _

_ “And bald.” _

_ “Don’t think I won’t hex you.” _

_ Namjoon swung his leg over Seokjin’s waist, doing a wonderful impression of an octopus. The Hufflepuff made some half-hearted attempts to roll away, but they both ended up laughing at ridiculousness of their little tussle. _

_ When their giggles settled, Namjoon took a moment to catch his breath before saying, “Hey, Jinnie?” _

_ “Yeah?” _

_ “What did I ever do to deserve you?” _

_ “Well, if my mom’s right, I would say something along the lines of saving a dying kingdom from a violent overlord.” _

_ “Say what?” _

_ “Or maybe saving a busload of innocent orphans,” _

_ “What the hell are you talking about?” _

_ “Well, you know how mom is a bit of a romantic? She’s always going on about love and fate and all that jazz. Like, all the people you meet and relationships you build are all a culmination of your past. So, what I’m saying is you had to have done something epic in a past life to get your hands on my glorious ass.” _

_ “Ok, one, there are better asses -” _

_ “Blasphemy!” _

_ “- and two, I seriously cannot believe you buy into that bullshit.” _

_ “What? It’s romantic. Also, what do you mean there are better asses?” _

_ Namjoon rolled his eyes, “You’re really going to fight me about ass? Who was it that slapped Draco’s last week?” _

_ “That was Taehyung. It’s always Taehyung.” _

_ “Well, who was it that egged him on.” _

_ “No one. No one egged him on.” _

_ “That’s a lie, and you know it.” _

_ “No one egged anyone on.” _

_ “Sure.” _

_ “So, what was your unromantic, disloyal ass saying about my bullshit?” _

_ “Smooth transition there, real smooth.” _

_ “Don’t be a dick.” _

_ “Who started it?” _

_ “No one. Now, bullshit, talk.” _

_ Namjoon didn’t think the sheer amount of incredulity he felt could ever be properly communicated. His mouth opened, retort ready, when the crushing realization that he wasn’t going to win this, or any other spat they had or would ever have, struck him like a thunderclap. This was the price one paid when one’s boyfriend was one Kim Seokjin. _

_ Instead, he sighed and focused on formulating a safe answer for the loaded query. _

_ “It’s just the whole fate thing. I could never buy into the whole idea of reincarnation, and there being a tally on our choices, like it’s all a game. And an unfair one at that, since you don’t even know what your starting stats are.” _

_ “I can’t believe you’re going to make me blame Mario for being a bad influence. I really can’t.” _

_ “It’s not just that, either. It’s like, what does it matter, then, what we do now? I just think that when you put it that way, all that nonsense about fate and destiny and karmic debts, it just cheapens everything we have in the here and now. I want this, and us, to matter more than a few goodie points added on the meter.” _

_ And this was what Namjoon loved most about Seokjin. He knew the other boy didn’t agree, he took after his mother way more than he was willing to admit, but even then, Namjoon could see Seokjin take a moment to let what he said sink in. _

_ “I really never thought of it that way,” Seokjin finally said. “So you’re saying you don’t believe in fate?” _

_ “Not exactly. I mean, I never really thought about it. But, I guess, for me… maybe it’s more like everything that is now only exists because of everything that came before? Like the Law of Conservation of Matter, what makes us was already here, and it’s just a matter of events happening in a certain sequence to result in the now. And that’s why it’s special, you know? We should be grateful we’re so lucky.” _

_ “Namjoon, you do know what you’re saying, right?” _

_ “What?” _

_ Seokjin broke out into wild laughter before choking out, “You’re legitimately saying that everything in the universe lined up for us to start dating. You’re a giant sap, and you don’t even know it!” _

_ “That’s not -” Namjoon broke off and thought over what was said, “-okay, maybe. But it just sounds bad when you put it like that!” _

_ “It’s okay, baby, I’ll keep your sappy, squishy innards a secret. Although, I’m banning you from reading any more of Ken’s textbooks. You stick to magic. My blood pressure can’t handle you mixing science into this mess.” _

_ “Jinnie, shut. Up.” _

_ “Nope! Because you know what? I like your idea and all, but mine is still better. You know why?” _

_ They had shifted at some point in the conversation. Namjoon had finally stopped his impersonation of a cephalopod, and they were now just bundled under the blanket. Somehow or the other, he found his fingers entwined with Seokjin’s as they spoke. In the warm glow of the bed, neither particularly cared about their mussed appearance, just basking in each other’s company. _

_ It was nice having someone to talk about these kinds of things. _

_ Namjoon never really had this growing up. It was a rigid and solemn time in his younger years until he met Yoongi. And even then, the older boy was great, and they shared numerous in-depth discussions about a variety of topics, but Yoongi’s internal musings ran a bit dark for even Namjoon to deal with sometimes. He figured he just didn’t have the emotional maturity for that. _

_ Which was why it’s a wonder, and at the same time completely obvious in retrospect, how Yoongi and Hoseok gelled so well so quickly. _

_ It was just nice to have someone to comfort and support him, even if they didn’t always see eye to eye on things. _

_ He smiled and answered, “Nope. No clue.” _

_ “Because my version is much more romantic.” _

_ “Whatever you say, hyung.” _

_ He got a smack to the chest for that. _

_ “No, really! Now, listen,” Seokjin hissed, “call it bullshit or whatever, but I like the whole fate thing because it’s not about the limitation of choice, or meaningless repetition, or mushy gushy blah blah blah.” _

_ “Your verbiage is the epitome of finesse.” _

_ “Hey! I let you have your moment on the soapbox, now let me have mine. Uh, where was I?” _

_ “Mushy gushy.” _

_ “Okay, yeah!” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “Yeah. So it’s not about all that stuff, it’s actually about merit.” _

_ “You’re going to have to expand on that a bit more.” _

_ “I think it’s romantic, because this, here? We earned this, you know? Whatever this is, however good this is, we made this happen somehow. I like the idea that the universe lined up for us, too, but then we just lucked out, didn’t we? You say there’s no meaning to doing things over and over for ‘points,’ but I say there’s no meaning in getting something for nothing.” _

_ “You’re really feeling this, aren’t you?” _

_ “Well, yeah, but mostly because you brought it up. I don’t really spend all my time thinking about this or anything.” _

_ “Technically,  _ you  _ brought it up.” _

_ “Did not.” _

_ “We’re really starting this, again?” _

_ Seokjin laughed, then turned and slid his hand up Namjoon’s chest, playing with the buttons of his shirt. _

_ “I’m going to let that sass slide. You’ve proven time and time again that even geniuses can’t always be right.” He then wiggled his way closer to the Slytherin boy and whispered, “But you know what we could both agree on?” _

_ Namjoon turned his head to face the other boy. Their noses just barely kept from touching as their faces mirrored each other’s contented smiles. _

_ “What?” _

_ “I think we can both agree that whatever got us here, ‘here’ is the best place in the world.” _

_ “Yeah,” he agreed and rescue over to brush his thumb over Seokjin’s cheek, “we can definitely agree on that.” _

It was just another one of their dumb conversations, and Namjoon remembered being exasperated more than anything. Not that that mattered.

He would happily lose every argument ever just to have Seokjin. Even at his worst, he was there and that had been enough.

It seemed so selfish, but the worst thing was that, in spite of how much his world had shattered, nothing had changed. What was different now compared to moments earlier? Had he not just been yelling at Potter not long ago, with little care for what could be here? It was unfair that, for him, their past was unchanged. Every little beautiful moment they shared, every memory they made, would remain unchanged.

What they were would always be, but the past was unforgivably impermanent. This was why Namjoon couldn’t bring himself to look. That would be accepting, and that would be the first step to losing it all. Nothing scared him more than the prospect that this, his loss, would one day be acceptable. The thought that beyond this point, the clarity will fade, and that he would one day be okay, scared him so, so much.

He would inevitably forget. And for that he would never forgive himself.

Someday, Namjoon would move on. And the very thought of it made him sick.

Because Seokjin deserved so much more than that.

But time is relentless and memory imperfect.

Namjoon felt so helpless, so useless.

Unbidden, another conversation arose in his mind. And for a moment, Namjoon could almost fool himself into believing that the whispering tones were in his ears, and not just an echo.

_ “You worry too much, Joonie. There’s no point in losing sleep over things you can’t control.” _

_ “That’s easy for you to say. Your parents aren’t breathing down your neck.” _

_ “Yeah, well, my parents know better than to expect perfection.” _

_ “Perfection doesn’t exist.” _

_ “That’s not true.” _

_ “Jin, I know when you’re being contrary for the sake of being contrary.” _

_ “No, I’m not. Besides, I got proof.” _

_ “Oh, yeah? And what’s that?” _

_ “Me! I’m perfect at being imperfect. You should try to be more like me.” _

Like an iron grip twisting inside him, it was yet another example of how unreliable memory could be when Namjoon remembered the light weight in his pocket. Mustering up more strength than he thought he had, Namjoon did the hardest thing he had ever had to do and released his grip on Seokjin. With careful, slow movements, he eased Seokjin away, one hand cradling his head as he gently rested the other boy against the stones.

In silence, the Slytherin allowed him a moment to inspect the dead boy. Seokjin would have hated this. It would be a lie to say he wasn’t a mess. Namjoon went about brushing Seokjin’s hair into some semblance of order and wiping the dust from his face, doing his best to ignore the still wet trails on Seokjin’s cheeks. Instead, he focused on straightening out the Hufflepuff’s shirt.

Then, when Namjoon was satisfied, he moved to sit himself beside Seokjin, sliding an arm over the other boy’s shoulders and shifting until the Hufflepuff’s head fell to rest on his own shoulders. With his free arm, he reached into his pocket and pulled the item free, fist tightly closed around it.

His breaths came in loud huffs and he pressed his face into Seokjin’s hair to muffle his sobs, all the while, he kept a tight clasp over the nameless object. It took a few moments to reign in the sudden burst of emotion, but when he did, Namjoon threw his head back and sucked in a deep breath.

He released it slowly and smiled down at the other boy. The Slytherin lifted his hand and opened his fist as if to show Seokjin.

“Hey, Jinnie, I know I got a problem with the whole timing thing, but we’re both used that, aren’t we?” he whispered, the smile never leaving his face.

In his hand, two silver bands glinted in the dim light of the hallway.

Namjoon raised them closer to better inspect them, “In case you’re wondering, this was what Hoseok and I were up to last summer. I figured it would be nice to get this done the muggle way, you know. Hoseok said they did engravings at this place, so here we are. I thought you might like the personal touch. What do you think?”

Even in the relative darkness, it was easy to make out the words carved on the inside of the rings. ‘Perfectly imperfect’ they read.

“I figure since they’ve been calling us this shit since third year, why not make it official,” he said lightly, smile wavering until he gritted his teeth to maintain it.

In the dark hallway, Namjoon quietly lifted Seokjin’s hand and slipped the band onto his ring finger.

“Hey, look! It’s a perfect fit.”

Then, he slipped the other band and held Seokjin’s limp hand in his own. By some strange sort of magic, or maybe it was all in his head, the bands seemed to glow in the darkness.

“I'm sorry I always wait until it's too late to ask for things.”

Unable to hold the smile any longer, Namjoon pressed a kiss to Seokjin’s temple before allowing his grief its escape, and the sobs take over.

Memories of a happier time danced in his mind as he wept.

_ “Where’s Jimin?” Namjoon asked. _

_ It was the start of a new year, and already he thought that things were too exciting for anyone’s peace of mind. While he was ready for adventures abroad, escaped Azkaban inmates, dementors, and train takeovers were not exactly something Namjoon thought he had to mentally prepare for when packing for the year. And technically school hadn’t officially started yet. _

_ For the sake of everyone’s sanity and nerves, it was unanimously decided that they would stick with their houses until after the first actual school day was over to meet up. Which was why the five were lounging around in one of their favorite empty classrooms, waiting for Jimin to show. _

_ It was rather out of character for the second year to make everyone wait on him for so long. _

_ “I’m not supposed to say.” Of course Taehyung would know. _

_ Those two were practically attached at the hip since the moment they met. Which had been only last year, despite feeling like it was practically an eternity ago due to the wild ride that was second year. And yet, Namjoon could practically feel his high hopes for a peaceful third year being dashed just by looking out the window and seeing the tiny dark pinpricks of floating figures. _

_ Yeah, he didn’t think he was going to get over the dementor thing anytime soon, especially considering that Draco had spent the entire night swinging between indignation at their presence and delight at the news of Potter’s extremely adverse reaction to them. _

_ “Is it a surprise?” Seokjin perked up in his seat. _

_ “Wait, is this going to be a good surprise or something more along the lines of McGonagall storming in on our asses again,” Hoseok chimed in, “because if it’s the latter, I want to point out that I’m not responsible this time!” _

_ “This time,” Yoongi scoffed from under a pile of school robes that he had confiscated from the rest of them. The small Hufflepuff had lined up four chairs to lie down on and still somehow managed to make it look comfortable. _

_ “Oh, come on, it’s not like it was really all that bad!” _

_ At that, Yoongi’s head emerged for a brief moment to glare incredulously at Hoseok. “You recorded a mandrake crying.” _

_ “It was for science!” _

_ Rather than responding, Yoongi instead tugged the robes tighter around himself and turned away with emphasis. _

_ Namjoon could only shake his head in exasperation as he watched Hoseok make his way over to poke at Yoongi. He had a brief debate over whether or not to stop him, but if the Gryffindor boy really had no sense of self preservation, who was he to interfere with natural selection? _

_ Fortunately for Hoseok, Seokjin was apparently in a sympathetic mood that day and pitied him enough to intervene, if only to say, “You still could have given us a warning before you played it in here.” _

_ Hoseok stopped his Yoongi poking spree to give the older boy a sheepish smile. “Oh, yeah. I probably should have told you guys. I  _ did _ say I was sorry, though.” _

_ “Nothing will ever take away the horror of coming to and seeing Professor McGonagall looming over me. Nothing.” Namjoon couldn’t stay silent on the issue any longer. _

_ “But, at least now we know that a mandrake recording is just as potent as the real deal!” Hoseok should’ve really stopped while he was ahead. _

_ Namjoon was seriously hoping that Yoongi would get off his lazy ass and show the Gryffindor the true wrath of House Hufflepuff. But when he squinted at the prostrate figure and noted the slow rise and fall of each breath under the robes, he heaved a heavy sigh. Yoongi was already asleep. _

_ “I still say there was probably a better way to figure that one out than the one you went with, Hobi,” Taehyung added, “but all of you can relax. This is definitely not a McGonagall level of surprise.” _

_ “Really?” Hoseok asked as he plopped down on the floor beside Yoongi’s makeshift bed, “Because last I checked, Jimin was also partially to blame for the whole fiasco.” _

_ “Wait. How?” _

_ Sarcasm dripped from Seokjin’s voice when he added, “I don’t think it was Jimin who brought in a deadly recording to knock out all his friends, now did he?” _

_ “No,” Hoseok answered, “but he didn’t have to drag in the professor, now, did he?” _

_ “Oh, come on!” Namjoon practically yelled. _

_ “Yeah, dude,” Taehyung quickly came to Jimin’s defense, “it’s not like you wouldn’t have done the same thing if it was you. You bet that if I walked in and all of your dumbasses were out cold on the floor, I would be running for the professor, too.” _

_ “Which is why I said ‘partially.’ I own up to, like, 85 percent of the responsibility there, but Jimin’s got like 15 on his conscience, too.” _

_ “That’s still too much on Jimin.” _

_ Namjoon snorted at that. “I think the more accurate ratio is 99 to 1.” _

_ “No, no, Joonie, remember how big the bruise on my forehead was? For messing with this face, there’s an extra penalty,” Seokjin added, “so the final count is something like 99.9 to 0.1.” _

_ The three of them shared a grin and turned to Hoseok. It was Taehyung who proudly announced, “So, basically, it’s still your fault.” _

_ “You guys are the worst.” _

_ Before Namjoon could make a proper retort, the sound of the door clicking open interrupted their ‘debate.’ As expected, a small figure poked his head in and beamed at the rest of them. It was going to be ridiculous dealing with this boy when he was older; already, he was using his cuteness to maintain an iron chokehold on his older friends. Even from where he was leaning against the wall behind his friend, Namjoon could practically see Seokjin melting from the second year’s smile. _

_ It was a good thing Jimin was generally a good kid and hadn’t yet used his talents for evil. _

_ The gods have mercy on their souls when he did, though. Namjoon wasn’t being a pessimist, but realistically, it was only a matter of time. _

_ Jimin shoved the door open a little wider and made his way in, but he wasn’t alone. Behind him toddled a tiny first year - he had to be, given his size - who had a death grip on Jimin’s other hand. _

_ “Hi, guys! Sorry, I was a bit late. Had to go find this little bugger!” _

_ “Hey! Don’t call him a bugger,” Taehyung was quick to jump in. _

_ “What?” Jimin smirked, and for a second a Namjoon swore there was a devilish glint in the boy’s eyes. “Kookie doesn’t mind, right?” _

_ Here was the start of it. Namjoon feared the end of their peaceful sweet Jimin days was fast approaching, but he would have to worry about that later, preferably in the safe haven of his own dormitory. Right now, the more pressing issue was the identity of the new boy. _

_ “Of course he wouldn’t say he minds it if it’s you who’s asking him!” _

_ Whoever he was, Taehyung was already clearly attached and protective. That basically guaranteed his future presence within their little group. Surprisingly, upon closer perusal, Namjoon felt his eyebrows raise in surprise when he finally noticed the badge and coloring of the new boy’s robes. _

_ At long last! _

_ Another Slytherin! _

_ If Namjoon had been the type to overly emote, he would have probably hopped over and swooped the tiny boy up in a bear hug. It was probably for the best that he kept his excitement to himself. The first year looked intimidated enough as it was, and having a tall, lanky third year swooping down on him would not do the kid any good. _

_ He had to give it to Jimin. The other Hufflepuff did not show any discomfort on his face despite the fact his hand was turning purple in the Slytherin boy’s grip. Along with that, his tiny body was practically glued to Jimin’s side as he peered at them with his big, doe-like eyes from under his fringe. _

_ Okay, Namjoon would be the first to admit it. This kid was really fucking cute. _

_ Upon realizing this, Namjoon immediately looked to Seokjin and almost burst out laughing. The older Hufflepuff was practically vibrating in his seat, and it wasn’t too hard to figure out why. As a means of maintaining some peace for the new kid, Namjoon walked over to Seokjin and placed both hands on his shoulders to keep him from running over and cooing at the boy. That wasn’t going to reflect well on any of them. _

_ Seokjin tilted his head back and beamed at Namjoon. The older boy’s eyes were practically glistening with silent coos. _

_ Namjoon just shook his head and gave Seokjin’s shoulders a light squeeze. _

_ There will be time for Seokjin to coddle the boy later. Best not to come off as crazy on the first day. _

_ “...and the one under the robes is Yoongi. You don’t have to mind him. He’s a bit prickly on the outside, but he’s actually just made of fluff. If he’s bothering you just pretend he’s our ornament. He’s mostly horizontal and motionless,” Jimin’s voice cut into Namjoon’s awareness as he tuned back into the happenings in the room. He couldn’t help but snort at the brat’s description of Yoongi. _

_ Apparently, Jimin was going around and introducing everyone. It was a good thing he was paying attention when he did since Namjoon and Seokjin were next. _

_ “And over here we have Seokjin, our local narcissist, and Namjoon, our fearless leader…” _

_ Well, Namjoon wouldn’t go as far as to say he was anyone’s leader, but before he could voice that, Jimin continued. _

_ “... they’re a married couple.” _

_ With the speed that his blood rushed to his face, Namjoon was honestly surprised his head didn’t explode. He vaguely heard Seokjin sputtering incoherently over the rushing in his ears. _

_ Jimin, however, just smiled viciously in their direction, fully confident in their lack of retribution, and went on talking as if he hadn’t just almost given the two third years heart attacks. “And since Namjoon is in Slytherin, too, if you have any trouble you can’t come to me with, feel free to hit him up. Right, Namjoon?” _

_ And there went his chance at contradicting Jimin’s earlier statement. The only choice left was to nod his agreement, not quite trusting his voice to speak. _

_ A shared gaze with Jimin confirmed his worst fears. Much more than the dementors floating outside, he felt the biggest threat here was right in front of him in the form of a second year Hufflepuff. _

_ Good bye, peaceful days of yore. _

_ “And that’s everyone! Everybody, I’d like you to meet my little copy-cat, Jungkook.” _

_ Hello, new dictatorship of one Park Jimin. _

And as the tears subsided, Namjoon, nursing that heady feel that came with sobbing for too long, was thankful for the very small mercy that the rest of the boys weren’t here to see this. In fact, he distinctly remembered sending Jungkook off with the rest of the Slytherin during the initial evacuation. Seokjin would kill him if anything happened to their group’s youngest, despite the fact that he outgrew them all some time in his fourth year and had used his newfound physical prowess to bully his friends into submission. Here Namjoon had been worried about Jimin, but the true harbinger of doom had been that little Slytherin boy.

Thank all the gods that he was safe, at least.

At the very least, there was that.

**Author's Note:**

> Special thanks to [allourheroes](http://allourheroes.tumblr.com/) for going through this baby and kicking the grammar into shape! LOVE!
> 
> And [superdeanlover](http://superdeanlover.tumblr.com/) for listening to my endless incoherent rants.


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